Dawn

4 posts
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Muse
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 176
Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:26 pm
Muse says... · Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:26 pm
The first light touches upon the head,
Morning’s anointment.
The dew evaporates,
Inner chemicals mix and bubble
There is magic brewing,
In the pulp,
In the frail tissue movement.
A thrust upward
Firm
Persistent
The imperative of cellular wisdom
Ancient as the soul which sustains it
A fountain of energy
You rise ecstatic into the
Blue marbled sky
Embraced by
the pollen dusted sun.
"Sometimes we see a cloud that's dragonish,
A vapour sometimes like a bear or lion,
A towered citadel, a pendant rock,
A forked mountain, or blue promontory,
With trees upon't that nod unto the world,And mock our eyes with air.."
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ohhewwo
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 148
Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:28 pm
ohhewwo says... · Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:28 pm
This is a good piece. That's all I have to say. Keep writing.
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Rei
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 685
Sat May 07, 2005 9:38 pm
Rei says... · Sat May 07, 2005 9:38 pm
Change "you" to "I" and maybe give it more of a rhythm. But otherwise this was great. Strong, vivid images, and NOT teen angst. I like it.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
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Chanson
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 85
Sat May 07, 2005 9:43 pm
Chanson says... · Sat May 07, 2005 9:43 pm
wow, for me this poem had a weird erotic edge to it that i don'tthink you meant at all.

maybe it's just because i am extremely tired and aggravated.

good imagery though, i quite liked it.
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4 posts


Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins