Young Writers Society


Soon, So Soon

3 posts
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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 51
Soon so soon shall we come to peace
Soon so soon shall we thrive
Soon so soon shall we lift the vale
Of prejudice and disguise

Soon so soon will the old ship sail
Soon so soon to the end
Soon so soon will the new timber come
To build a different trend

Soon so soon shall we rise anew
Soon so soon shall we fight
Soon so soon shall we defy law
And demolish our long-lived plight

Soon so soon will they understand
Soon so soon will they know
Soon so soon will they come to yield
To a power that will only grow




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 16
In my way of thinking, you should only put "Soon so soon", once in each stanza (I'd suggest the beginging...) . That would make it a bit easier to read.

I liked it, really. But you need to expound more upon each line. Be more discriptive!!

All in all, great job! Keep it up!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 441
Its nice but the soon so soon mixes me up a bit. I know you can't really do anything about that...
I think you should review that yourself and see what you can do to make it a little better.
Over all its nice...
But what's it about? It does not really have a main point...

-Think about it.
Genevieve
xxx



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