Dangerous Ink (Chapter 4)

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 62
DANGEROUS INK
by Jonathan Hyde

Chapter IV: All’s not right in paradise


I could feel the wind pushing against the bottom of the basket as we lowered. The Commena’s wings were slowing and letting gravity do the job. Veronica was out guiding them. I heaved a sigh as Milly crawled into my shirt. Why had I ever wanted a pet?

Truthfully, Milly was one of the sweetest things I had ever seen. In the past days, she had grown an extreme like for me. Crawling into my shirt was the sign she was scared. I would take Milly home with me, but it was too cruel to take him away from Veronica.

Veronica was twice as sweet as Milly was, though. Every night we would talk to each other over the sound of the winds, rising and falling, and the growls of evil creatures below. There was something more human about her than any of the other Commena. They were all so nice to me… it was kind of creepy, actually. Back in Boston, I had to look out for myself. Now, everyone looked out for me.

Did I want to go back?

“Touchdown!” yelled Veronica, and Milly scurried out from my shirt and onto my shoulder. I hopped over the basket and ran out into the field. For miles nothing blocked my view. I laid down and smelled the pleasant aroma of flowers rising. Veronica pulled me up.

“Hey, John, you see that over there?” She gestured towards a small hill off into the distance. I nodded in reply. “Well, that’s were we’re going. The other will be there soon. They just have to tie down the basket.”

“Okay,” I said with a smile, and grabbed the bag filled with the food and clothes I had been given. We walked for what seemed like only minutes, while the hill was almost two miles away. Veronica told me about the flowers, and the birds, and the temple where we were going. Whenever she got to a good part, Milly chirped and jumped with glee, and we burst out laughing.

“Here it is!” she said, and I couldn’t help gasp in amazement. What was a flowery hill only moments before was a small temple, made of marble. It had two wings and a courtyard in the middle. She motioned for me to knock on the door, and it instantly swung open.

“Veronica, what’s this place used for?” I asked as we walked in.

“Worship, mostly. For the seers and the archangel. She’s our leader: not only us Commena but the other creatures, too.” We were going towards the right wing now, and I could see a picture of creatures worshiping around a fire at the end of the hall.

“Munchers, too?” I asked, confused. I wouldn’t think Commena could stand worshiping the same god as them.

“No. But they’re always free to. Anyone is allowed to worship with us: it’s a rule. It’s what makes us good and them evil.” Veronica let out a long sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just that. Everybody is either us or them in this world, and nobody does anything besides what us and them are supposed to do. Except you, John. You’re special. Just like the old seer was when he came here.”

“What does a seer do that other people don’t?”

Veronica suddenly adopted a serious look on her face. “Seers are different from all of us. Nobody knows what makes them different except for the seers. Cryptic, huh.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

Again, Veronica sighed. “I wish it did, John. Come on; let’s sleep before the others get here.”

We laid out the beds, still talking about things, and occasionally laughing, but a veil of silence and awkwardness was in the air. Us and them? I tried to sleep, but our conversation kept bringing up questions in my head. I finally decided what to do.

I’m going to see the seer.
"Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A felon!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yah! This kid at school says they get all the girls!"
"I should try that..."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 13389
Reviews 260
Interesting! I like hearing more about the world and your main character. I wasn't quite sold on Veronica before, but she seems like a quite likable character.


I liked what Veronica says about the world's whole us-them mentality. Though I'm not sure how, in any way, John has yet shown that he doesn't share it... So I'm not sure why she says he's different. And nobody knows what makes seers different except seers, huh? How interesting... Wouldn't that make it a bit tough, though, for people to say who was a seer and who wasn't? Couldn't someone just go "I'm a seer." and spend the rest of their life getting worshiped? ...Or was that the point you were trying to make? XD

Well, interesting, in any case, I can't wait to read the rest!
"The world is not beautiful, therefore, it is." --Kino's Journey

Hey, how about a free review?



today we are possible.
— Lucille Clifton