"Perfect"

"Perfect"

Silence.
The sweet aroma
Of the freshly cut grass
And the dew of the
Morning dawn filled the air.
Coral pink,
Lemon yellow,
And fuchsia
Painted across the
new day sky.
The old barn cat
Yawns and stretches,
Rolling over to his side.
The wind brushing
Silently through
The tall shaded trees.
A low haunting thunder
Roaring in the distance
Of the newborn day.
Calming.

Overall, it's nice. you have some good imagery, though a little cliched. It describes a pretty picture but oher than that, i didn't find much meaning.

I like the sound of "morning dusk" even though dusk implies the end of the day and not the beginning.

"Coral pink,
Lemon yellow,
And fuchsia
Painted across the
new day sky."

Again, the idea of colors being painted across the sky has been used a lot.

The mention of the old barn cat is good, something new to add to the image of the morning.

You say that the world is silent, and then you talk about thunder roaring in the distance...which is slightly confusing but doesn't really detract from the poem too much.

This has a sort of slow, quiet feeling that reminds me of mornings in the summer when there is nothing that has to be done and you get up early just to see the sun rise and not because you have to. It was overall an enjoyable poem to read.

darn it the computer wiped out my comment. gaw, ok here goes again.

i really enjoyed reading this, i loved the use of color to discribe the sky. a great mental image. i to also liked the mention of the barn cat.

the only thng i found that did not quiet fit, was the quiet in the beginnng and then ending with thunder. normally thunder is associated with afternoon or evening.

great poem.

kim

I like this.
I can close my eyes and picture it.

The thunder kinda though me off a little.
But I think I get what your saying?
A new day is rolling in? Maybe ?

Yes its a poem 4 class about my perfect world the thunder in the distance means the worst has past in the day before.