"Faceblock"

[pre]No privacy!
No freedom!
You can't change anything!
Constantly watched!
You can start way to much drama during lunch!
People search through your writing, pictures, and friends!
Chance of being in trouble at school due to your page!
You cannot truly leave when you want!
Might as well call it a cell-block![/pre]

i know exactly where you are going with this. there is no privacy, and really no where to write to show your feelings without someone reading them and taking them wrong.
kind of frustrating isnt it.
and if you have offended anyone, you cant delete what has already been written. lol
i guess that is life. we learn to keep alot in.
great job.

kim

This made me think more of a rant than a poem, probably due to the exclamation points. Being angry is fine; being clever and angry is awesomeness. The "cell-block" idea is getting there; but see if you can come up with other things, maybe a little more fitting (I don't know if you know it's "Facebook" not "Faceblock"? I mean, I see where you're going, but changing the original name doesn't work as well)

But there's nothing to read beyond the annoyance at the constantly monitored internet. If the poem were literally about a cell block, that might be kinda cool, but being told straight away that it's a poem about annoyance at Facebook ruins what the reader could ultimately get out of the poem.

This link: http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-21200689.html
is to a poem about privacy and constant streams of media in the twenty first century. Notice how in this poem, the idea of privacy becomes something more than just a concept; it's expanded upon and as such, ultimately says more about the concept of privacy by not saying anything directly.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions
-Amelia

(And a quick note on the concept of internet privacy: yes, people can search through anything, but if you don't want them to, why would you put it up in the first place?)