"Lost"

[pre]"Lost"

lost.
searching
for whatever
it is that is missing.
Stumbling
on jagged rocks.
Falling on
your knees.
scraping away
with each
loss of footing.
feeling smaller
with each step.
weak and forever
fighting to move
forward.[/pre]

Hm...critique now, compliments later.

After a few periods, you do not capitalize. This is a pet peeve of mine.

Lost.
Searching
Scraping away
Feeling smaller
Weak and forever

Scraping away
with each
loss of footing.

This is unclear. What is scraping away? Skin? Hope?

Besides those two things, I found nothing else wrong. I really like the way you seperated the sentences, it sounds awkward and choppy, but at the same time it seems right and perfect for the poem.

Well done!

<3;
Emily

i found this interesting, i like the discription you use, but i also like the metaphors.

it was short , but you got your point out there, i really liked how you ended it.
i like this alot. the punctuation is easily changed. i wouldnt change anything else;
keep going and dont stop , you are very good.

kim

Thanks! I appreciate ur comments

Very good. The spacing between lines makes me feel like I am gasping for air as I read. You are very good at writing poetry.

~Spirit

Only one complaint. I think you should use the word "your" instead of "my." Personalizing your poem calls attention to you, not the writing. Other than that, very well done! I love the line about feeling smaller with each step.