The Ballad of the Spindle

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Hey so this is a poem that I had to write for English, we had to base it off a fairy tale. Tell me what you think!

The stars were shining
And all was alight
As a silver carriage
Rode out of sight

It came up through the woods
Without even a care
And a Spindly figure
Danced out with a flare

He jumped up the stairs
Cart-wheeled into the hall
And said near enough
"Gather round, gather round all"

"The stars were alight,"
And such a beautiful night
The glimmer the glamor
Oh, the stars of the night!"

But the stars of the night
Were none to compare
Oh, none to compare
To the danger, beware!

And with a flick of his wrist
To old King Rafair
He whistled and told
Of danger, beware

The King started up
And waved his stick
And order a wall
To be built very thick

The Jester winked his eyes
And standing up he hissed
"Rome wasn't built in a day,
And neither can this!"

The King sat down
And laughed with glee
"If we burn the spindles,
It can never be!"

The Jester smiled and nodded his head
"Oh yes, wise king she will not prick!"
Aurora lay sleeping a smile on lips.
Needles to say, she did not know the trick.

She soon grew up
Wise, and rare
And all princes came far
To glimpse her fair hair.

Across the Lakes
Lay an evil witch sleeping
One image lay in her twisted old mind
That of the Princess silently weeping

With a clash of lightening
Her evil eyes came awake
Her heartbeat quickened
And she knew not to stay

She flew over the woods
Crawled under the lakes
And lay awaiting Aurora
A spindle in wake.

Enchanted, no doubt
She came to that witch
And with a little coaxing
Pricked without even a glitch

The stars were shining
And all was alight
As a silver carriage
Rode out of sight

It came up through the woods
Without even a care
And a Spindly figure
Danced out with a flare

He jumped up the stairs
Cart-wheeled into the hall
And said near enough
"Gather round, gather round all"

His voice was not happy
Almost crawling in sobs,
He started in rightly
His mouth drooping in song.

"I in my life,
Have seen a terrible sight
Of the Princess Aurora
Dead in the Night!"

Gasps were heard all around
A rather quite terrible sound
They echoed and yelled
And all was quite loud.

The Jester smiled
And nodded to all,
But the King sat there wiping,
The sweat off his brow,

"Dear Jester, King Jester," The King said through his tears,
"Is there not some way not to siege?"
The Jester smiled and bowed to his King,
"A kiss of true love, from Phillip, my liege,"

Phillip was already headed over,
As the beautiful princess slept
He fought the dragon, killed the witch
But couldn't kiss, and so he wept.

Another Prince appeared from the wall
But Phillip was mad to see him at all
The other Prince kissed her, and oh it was sweet,
But now we must stop and tell of this treat.

The stars were shining
And all was alight
As a silver carriage
Rode out of sight

It came up through the woods
Without even a care
And a Spindly figure
Danced out with a flare

He jumped up the stairs
Cart-wheeled into the hall
And said near enough
"Gather round, gather round all"

"Come here a story
Without an end
Of poor prince Henry,
Not a story to lend."

Poor prince Henry,
Had no princess at all,
No, not one
Not one at all

He tried Cinderella
But had not a shoe,
Fought Dragons and demons,
Without even a clue.

He then tried Aurora,
But got there too late,
He kissed her of course
But Phillip took mate.

So forever he shall wander,
Seeking a bride,
Never a happy ending
So forever, he shall ride

But now we continue
The tale that was telling
For Phillip and Aurora
Are happily aging

Phillip pushed Henry
Right out of the way
Aurora laid eyes on Phillip
And was happily swayed

The wedding bells rang
The couple was crowned
They lived happily
But Henry just frowned

The stars were shining
And all was alight
As a silver carriage
Rode out of sight

It came up through the woods
Without even a care
And a Spindly figure
Danced out with a flare

He jumped up the stairs
Cart-wheeled into the hall
And said near enough
"Gather round, gather round all"

"Love for a spindle
And not for a Prince
Can make you end up in
A rather tight fix!"

"So remember
Al ye, who read these verse,
That love is not blind,
Your heart doth not diverse."

"Tonight is not just a time for tales
But rather a parting for you, farewell.
For over the river and under the sea
Another tale awaits you,
Just wait and see"
"You start thinking anything is possible if you have enough nerve"- J.K Rowling




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"The stars were alight,"
And such a beautiful night
The glimmer the glamor
Oh, the stars of the night!"

But the stars of the night
Were none to compare
Oh, none to compare
To the danger, beware!

And with a flick of his wrist
To old King Rafair
He whistled and told
Of danger, beware

^^ cut this whole thing out. It's unnecessary and repetitive.

Aurora lay sleeping a smile on HER lips.

She soon grew up
Wise, and rare
And all princes came far
To glimpse her fair hair.

^^this too should be cut. It's wholly random.

Across the Lakes
Lay an evil witch sleeping
One image lay in her twisted old mind
That of the Princess silently weeping

^^I like this stanza alot, but there's something that disturbs the rhythm in the last two lines. Perhaps adjustment?

His voice was not happy
Almost crawling in sobs,
He started in rightly
His mouth drooping in song.

^^how can it be drooping in song?

Gasps were heard all around
A rather quite terrible sound
They echoed and yelled
And all was quite loud.

^^I dislike this one; the rhyming is off and it is distracting. Cut it.

"Dear Jester, King Jester," The King said through his tears,
"Is there not some way not to siege?"
The Jester smiled and bowed to his King,
"A kiss of true love, from Phillip, my liege,"

^^ seige just seems so awkward here...

Phillip was already HEADING over,

"So remember
Al ye, who read these verse,
That love is not blind,
Your heart doth not diverse."

"Tonight is not just a time for tales
But rather a parting for you, farewell.
For over the river and under the sea
Another tale awaits you,
Just wait and see"

^^The rhyming here is also forced, random and...odd. Rewrite?

-------

Overall, I LOVED IT! It's so cute. I love the repeating of those two stanzas, and the extension of the fairy tale. With some revision it should be fabulous!

-Evang.
Break the boundaries, hunt the hunter, and leave me a tip.
----to kill or not to kill




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 20
Hey thanks so much! Yea, I'm having a bit of trouble with some of those rhymes, they don't seem to want to come out right. I really like your suggestions, its great to know how something comes across!
"You start thinking anything is possible if you have enough nerve"- J.K Rowling



Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.
— George Orwell, 1984