Wind

The night is dark
The moon is bright
The wind howls throughout the darkness

It calls the day and ends the night
Forever more let the wind take flight

<<Its retarded and short...But I had a little burst of wind in my brain XD... Feel free to comment!>>

Yes it's short and but It's not retarded...

I actually think it's the proper length, if you wrote it any longer it would not be so perfect.

Paints a nice vivid picture in my mind.
i like it.

-icy

Oh! Thank you so much! I thought I sucked at poetry But I guess I don't!
Thank you!

I might revise the last line to fit with the rest of the poem. Other than that, yes it works!

I see what you mean...But what more could I say?

You know what? I change my mind. Don't change the last line; change the third line of stanza one. Darkness--do you see how you used Dark already?

I was wrong. I was thinking that the ABC BB didn't go well; but it's fine, on second glance.

What? The ABC BB kinda mixed me up

It's the way you rhymed...but it doesnt matter anyways :S

Oh! Thanks

yea i think its good. i love poetry. i have a whole notebook and as i continue to write they only get better.

The use of simple phrases is great. The last line is a bit stiff though.
It's awesomely elegant, though.

It's pretty smooth, Gwen.
But, I think the last line of the last stanza is a bit..odd...
And instead of saying, 'The wind howls throughout the darkness' I think you should say 'The wind howls through the darkness'.
Anyways, good job!

I think it was good. I certainly don't think you suck at poetry. I would also like to see what else yoyu write. I'd like to something else with just a little bit more length. It'd be interesting to see your specific talents as a poet. I'm a little more biased towards the poets, so when you write some more, PM me. I'd love to read your stuff.

i like it, it is short but discriptive. and the impulse ones are always the best.
great job.

kim

Thank you! I shall go and review some of your work Kim!