Semiprecious

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Semiprecious
By V.G.S/R.G.S/E.G.S. or Whichever you know me as.

The beings of old,
That have stood still upon the towers,
Are rising to their feet this day,
So can you hear them?

They have not gained a year,
And their heads are still held high,
Such magnificence beheld in the cold depths of war,
But then why are they feared?

Wings that match those of an archangel,
Eyes with the color of their stones,
And their beings sculpted as if by gods,
So then why aren't they beautiful?

Perhaps it is because they cannot be heard,
But are meant for hearing.
Perhaps it is because they are meant to be feared,
Not loved for their powers.

But 'perhaps' is a word that can be defied; dear friend,
For many have done so,
And now stand beside these winged angles,
Are you one of them?

The war is beginning now,
And these creatures have risen,
They ask you to make the final choice,
So upon this darkest hour,
Can you be trusted?
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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I tried to understand what the beings are. I couldn't. However I believe everything does not have to make sense in poetry. I am a strong believer in that, but I think many people may disagree. So I still enjoyed your poem. The mood, the imagery emotion the overall rhythm is excellent.
And there is a certain philosophical mood to this poem that I especially enjoyed.

Keep writing poetry. You're really good at it!
-Icy

I love poems that don't rhyme. They seem more new, and fresh to me. I'm tired of poetry that has to, has to rhyme, Because usually the poet's words are limited. But some people write excellent poetry even while they have all the words rhyming. I'm not one of them. XD
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres




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x3 Well said about rhymeing poetry. ^^ And thank you!
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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I LUV IT! ...Sorry, but it was awesome! If this is intro to a story, I want to read this story.

Oh, by the way, in the fifth stanza on the third line I believe that you were trying to say "angels" not "angles."
I like dragons and Koenma and dragons and L and dragons and Arystar Krory and randomness and, oh, did I mention dragons?

If you want Horace to win, put him in your siggy:
o.......O<#
. \o o/




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I really have nothing constructive to say, but I loved it. It doesn't seem like something that a 15 year-old would have the brain capacity to write- most people that age that I know care only about the oposite gender and their looks- but maybe the 15 year-olds on this site are all very deep?
Anyways, I really enjoyed reading it. Things like; Stone sentinels, older than time and wings of virtue come to mind when I read it. I have absolutely no idea why, but I'm odd that way.
It gave me a somber, almost foreboding feel, like the feeling of someone who is about to go to war (because the poem mentioned war) and an ageless beauty and solemn oaths made long ago. Again, no idea why.
I especially love the second and third stanzas; they were so poetic.
All in all, it was amazing!
Great job!
everything i loved
became everything i lost.


Would you like a review?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic73903.html




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 25
Thank you greatlly, both! I'll be posting the first part of my story soon!
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?



Every time I’ve gotten feedback that was hard to take it was usually hard to take because there was truth in it and I didn’t like that (or didn’t want to receive it). That’s not to say all harsh feedback is good or that we should be harsh for harshness’ sake, but learning to absorb truth without letting it break your inner core/break you is a lifelong skill that keeps your mind elastic and open to learning.
— soundofmind