Heroes of Heart

Heroes of heart,
they do not part,

In a kingdom,
Where darkness reigns.
The light shines so bright,
in the sky the heavens gleam.

The heart open doors
to the light
and darkness.

The fight begins.
Out of the heaven,arrows fall
but yet the darkness stands tall.

Just a key to the heart is need.
The heart holds all the answers.

The ultimate weapon revealed
the darkness begins to rise.

The fight is over and all that remains.
The heroes of heart,
That will never part.

This seemed a little disjoint to me, like you were just brainstorming different ideas and throwing them together. I think if you concentrated on just one type of hero this would work better, instead of jumping all over the map from Medival heroes to Space Age heros.

I don't know why, but I am oddly attracted to your poetry. I tear it apart, yes, but I am drawn to it...

Heroes of heart,
they do not part,

You have a horrid rhyming scheme. If you are going to rhyme, rhyme it all or every other line. If you are not, then don't. Nothing in between. This was just an okay beginnning. Also, I like how oyu seperate the poem into stanzas, but when you go to a new stanza, its usually a new sentence. For example:

Heroes of heart,
They do not part (no comma)
In a kingdom (no capital k and no comma)
Where darkness reigns. (notice the spelling or reigns)

Do a set amount of lines per stanza. Decide if you are going to capitalize the first letter of each line or not.

The light shines so bright,
in the sky the heavens gleam.

The light shines bright,
Up in the sky where the heavens gleam.
The heart (doesn't make sense) opens (notice the s) doors (no comma)
To the light and the darkness. (one line, a bit changed)

The fight begins,
Out of the heaven arrows fall,
but yet the darkness stands tall.

The fight beings. (period)
Out of the heaven, (comma) arrows fall (no comma)
But yet the darkness stands tall. (Either rhyme or dont)

The key to the heart holds,
all the answers.

I didn't like this format, here's an idea:

Just a key to the heart is need.
The heart holds all the answers.

The ultimate weapon revealed,
the darkness begins to squeal.

I would say

The ultimate weapon is revealed (no comma)
And the darkness begins to rise. (Maybe a different word. One thing though...Darkness doesn't squeal)

The fight is over and all that remains.
The Heroes of Heart,
That do not part.

The fight is over
And all that remains
Are the heroes of heart (no caps)
That will never part . (Different wording)

Even with my corrections, I didn't like it that much. It was okay I guess, just not my cup of tea...

I really enjoyed this with the new revisions. It works so much better and doesn't jump all over the map as it had before. the flow is also much nicer. Good job.

Just a few comments:

YoshiArmada wrote:The heart open doors
to the light
and darkness.

I think that this should be "opens" not "open"

YoshiArmada wrote:The fight begins.
Out of the heaven,arrows fall
but yet the darkness stands tall.

This should either be "Out of heaven" or "Out of the heavens"

YoshiArmada wrote:Just a key to the heart is need.
The heart holds all the answers.

"need" here should be "needed".

YoshiArmada wrote:The ultimate weapon revealed
the darkness begins to rise.

I don't think that you mean rise here. Maybe retreat? Or maybe you should replace "darkness" with "light" in that sentence.

Over all good job. I really enjoyed reading it.

This is pretty... here's some crit.

Heroes of heart,
they do not part,

I don't like the beginning. The rhyming seems forced and it just does't make sense and grab you

In a kingdom,
Where darkness reigns.
The light shines so bright,
in the sky the heavens gleam.

I liked this stanza with the contrast between light and darkness

The heart open doors
to the light
and darkness.

I don't really get this. 'The heart open doors'? Do you mean 'the heart opens doors'?

The fight begins.
Out of the heaven,arrows fall
but yet the darkness stands tall.

This was cool, but try adding a syllable to te last line. So it goes: 'out of the heaven, arrows fall, but yet the darkness stands so tall' it flows better

Just a key to the heart is need.
The heart holds all the answers.

Interesting, but not that great

The ultimate weapon revealed
the darkness begins to rise.

Pretty good, but I don't like the word 'rise' here. Try ascend or something more majestic or dangerous.

The fight is over and all that remains.
The heroes of heart,
That will never part.

I didn't like your ending either. I really don't get your 'never part' thing.

This has potential and is pretty good, but I don't like it that much as it is

I agree with all the replys and corrections. The beginning definitely sounds forced and too much like a poem. I mean, it is a poem and it needs to sounds like a poem but not read like a poem. Do you get what I'm saying? It's very well written though except those few mistakes you need to check up on. Hope to read more of your poems and your revisions to this one.