True Beauty

A clear blue sky hovering over the land
The eagle that flies so near
When darkness falls into rays of sun
O'er the blue ocean clear

The poet beneath the olden wood
Claiming his sight and stand
His word into song, his melody sprung
Fly beyond oaken land

A mystery, never quite been solved
Rolls hauntingly through ones head
The thoughtful mind conjures theories abroad
Never letting one sleep in bed

The one look between lovers eyes
A pure and beautiful romance
Hand in hand their eyes raise up
Tracing the starry night dance

The being who wonders the truth of beauty
As she stares into the night
Although curiosity killed the cat
The answer gave its mind flight

Pretty.

The ryhming could go better in places.

A mystery, never quite been solved
Rolls hauntingly through ones head
The thoughtful mind conjures theories abroad
Never letting one sleep in bed.

The one look between lovers eyes
A pure and beautiful romance
Hand in hand their eyes raise up
Tracing the starry night dance.

The second one sounds nice, but the ryhme doesn't quite go.

A mystery, never quite been solved
Rolls hauntingly through ones head...

Ones = one's.


You need to add mroe punctuation. In some places, you don't have full stops or commas where you need them.


Overall, it sounded very nice. Just work on polishing up the ryhmes and smoothing it out a bit.

Beautiful, the ryhming was good, i feel too much ryhming can get out of hand...Im speachless!

I really like the last two lines. but this one didn't make sense: "Claiming his sight and stand." what does that mean? how do you claim your stand? like his beliefs? I'm confuzzled.

but overall, very pretty. i think twit covered everything else.

I thought this was really good. The only two things I didn't like were 1.The title. and 2. When you use conjures in line 11. The word didn't seem to fit with the rest of your beautiful wording. That was the only time in the poem that I stopped and said eh.

I liked all of the good words you used, but the poem didn't hold my attention that well. I had to read it three times to figure it out.