Midnight Secret

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This is a story that I won contest with, but I never got any comments on it so tell me what you think please!!
Thanks
By the way, it's not really spaced because it's only one paragraph
I lied. I went and spaced it out.

I slipped through my house, carefully avoiding the creaky parts of the old wooden flooring. I’ve discovered that if I step on the knots in the wood, the squeaks are minimized. As I arrived at the window that I usually escaped from, I looked outside at the gorgeous scenery. After the light snowfall of the past afternoon the world outside was a virgin white. The top layer of the snow drifted lightly on the breeze, swirling and swirling, like tiny spirits going where they pleased on this uncanny full moon. In anticipation I could feel all my muscles and limbs tighten, but I still had to wait a little bit longer, after all, if I changed in the house there might be a bit of a ruckus. I eased open the window and lowered myself onto the roof just below. After I lowered the window until it was mostly closed, I turned and leapt off the roof, landing lightly on all fours. Such a fall meant nothing to a werewolf, so I silently ran into the fields that were outside my house.

After swiftly surpassing all the fields I entered the forest directly west of my house and gratefully removed my clothes. My body had been aching in anticipation all day for this. Every muscle in my body clenched again and this time I let myself free to it. The hair on my entire body grew and turned a deep auburn as my nails formed claws. I felt my fangs pierce my lower lip before my face started to lengthen and become a canine snout. My bones popped into different positions and I fell onto all fours.

After a few more minutes the change was complete. I ran in circles joyfully until I slipped in the fresh snow. Then I carefully leapt to my feet, and sat still staring at the luminous moon. Suddenly I felt the urge to scare surrounding animals…if they hadn’t already discovered my scent. I bayed at the moon, the sonorous howl of a wolf, and from miles away I heard a faint reply with my exceptionally sensitive ears. We howled at each other, the call of two lone wolves who, unusually, enjoyed their solitude. Then the wind shifted and the scent of a rabbit blew into my nostrils.

I bounded into action. The rabbit was close, I could smell it! The musky scent mixed with- yes it knew I was out here too. I could smell the fear that radiated from it like heat from a stove. I skidded to a halt when I passed a set of fresh rabbit tracks and set off in the new direction. I chased is through the forest, this rabbit is good at avoiding me! But eventually I caught it and the hunt was complete. I spent the night in the forest, enjoying myself and the advantages of this body. All too soon, I had to return home. I changed back into human form and made my way back to my house.

When I reached my den…home, I climbed up a trellis on my wall and slipped back through the slightly ajar window. I crept back into my room and after I curled into a ball in my bed, I tried to place myself back in my human frame of mind. I had to stop thinking as a wolf and get some sleep. I wanted to dream of running and hunting, but I made myself think of school, and friends and homework. My eyes begin to close, and I anticipate a normal day tomorrow, with my secret forever hidden…

so...ya!
Just never ever forget to live ok? Never ever forget to be happy when things maybe aren't the greatest. Yeah, that's right- because every moment is making you who you will be and is really worth it in the end. So just....live.




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This is beautiful! Why hasn't anybody responded to this yet? I love your imagery--how the snow was "virgin white" and it flew like spirits. Honestly, I don't have any complaints. Well, I think your opening could be more gripping, because the squeaky-floorboard thing is hopelessly cliche. Maybe something about the full moon instead? But other than that, this is very well-done. I look forward to reading more!
"Hey look! A black shooting star!"

"That's no star...that's Fangala!"




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Okay this was slow moving, I agree about squeeky floorboards terribly cliche. I imagined she was in an abandoned home at first. You're imagery was good but the start didn't pull me in. I like horror but it was the wrong start for a story like this. You need to establish a speed and keep it at that speed. I also reckon she seems a little too eager to strip down, what if someone had saw, she should look around before trasforming. After all she's trying to secret safe. I liked this story but the start drags too much for me. Edit and pm once you've done.

Good luck VSN :)
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]



That's just what translation is, I think. That's all speaking is. Listening to the other and trying to see past your own biases to glimpse what they're trying to say. Showing yourself to the world, and hoping someone else understands.
— Ramy (Babel by R. F. Kuang)