Sex Cells

I, quiver anew, a new quiver, I
the bed of your arrow, I, callow and soft

Buttery, I, fluttery

Decoupage my décolletage
Am I so be-cumming, boys?
Sperm spatter suffrage
What does it matter, boys?

Battery is flattery

Damaged good, half off.
Wait now to wither, I.

I'm not entirely sure what I think of it yet. The puns were great, but I think I would need to read it a few more times to truly appreciate it, and right now I don't have the time to give it what it deserves. ^^'

I do not comment on a lot of poetry (or anything else for that matter) but this requires my attention

I hate it. I love the name.

"I, quiver anew, a new quiver, I"

Lame.

"Buttery, I, fluttery."

Lame.

"Decoupage my décolletage
Am I so be-cumming, boys?"

Ahahahahah. No need for the slang spelling, we would get it anyway. The first line is brilliant.

"Battery is flattery"

At first I hated it but now I like it.

Well... It is nice to see something along these lines being submitted. It is up to you to make it good though.

I'm not entirely sure why you put so many commas and used "I" so many times. it seems unnecessary.

From what i gathered, this is about sexual abuse. If so, then i love the 3rd and 4th stanzas; Just eliminate the two commas. work on the 1st, 2nd, and 4th stanzas though. They don't seem to get the point across.

If it isn't about sexual abuse please clarify what the purpose is. I wish you luck and inspiration on this poem and anything else you are working on

I'm...confused lol. I think I liked it...at least, i liked saying it in my head. but i don't know what to say about it.

*is frustrated* this is why i shouldn't comment on poetry. I never have any good feedback besides "it's pretty."

Wow. I really like this.

Maybe this is just how I'm reading it, but I feel all the mentions of "I" are like pointing inward, saying to herself, "Has it really come to this?" and at the same time, calling to the boys, "It's only me."

There's a layer of disgust beneath it all. Disgust with self, disgust with the inevitable.

"the bed of your arrow" is brilliant, as is "Battery is flattery." I love the repetition of the calls to the boys.

You know, I just realized the symmetry between "Buttery, I, fluttery" and "Battery is flattery." Very clever. I was going to say I was uncertain of the first, but wow. Love it.

This reminds me of Dulcinea in the play "Man of La Mancha" (based off Don Quixote). Her dignity has a sword thrust through it, but she keeps her head up even as she accepts payment for the next night's act.

It's a progression, isn't it? The first half is the flirtatious cat-call, the second half is the disgust afterward. Or maybe, again, I'm just reading it that way.

So much symmetry... great job pulling it off. Even the second and second-to-last lines rhyme. Jeez. Is there even a touch of a concrete poem here, or is that pushing it too far?

And the title! My gosh, so many meanings. The narrator could feel trapped in this situation, yes? As in a cell. Then there's the obvious literal meaning, and... You're brilliant.

Love it, Kit darling. Beautiful, beautiful job.

Very nice. Very, very nice. It's just so...remarkable. The symmetry is stunning. The word choice is something I could never think of. It's full of beauty and disgust. I love the title, too. Keep up the fantastic work!

Sex Cells.

It certainly does, doesn't it. You conected your title - if I'm reading it all right lol - brilliantly to the end of the poem. And the rest of the poem, actually.

The little lies and flattery that makes the sale. She did what she had to in order to be bought in the first - as all are meant to want to - and then knows her fate as her buyer fails. She shall be bought again, but wither alone, for all flowers of a certain type do.

I adore this amazingly. I appreciated the structure and flow, and the underlying dissatisfaction and disgust at the entire ordeal. I also appreciate the end understanding, the resignation that comes with the final flattery and loss. The resigned statement of sale, and tired admittence of loneliness.

Well done, Love.

*Hearts* Le Penguin.