Of Veils and Cloaks (Or: I'll Never Know)

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Of Veils and Cloaks


What is it keeping me together?
What it is, I'll never know.
Because the smile I convey
Is eroded by the day,
By the grit and cutting grain we call the world.

So I arm myself with masks and false pretences.
I part the curtain, start the show.
But I've so few lines to say
That I've not already spoken.
How long will the pageant last,
I'll never know.

Oh, to cure this grim addiction.
Of perfection, cloaks and veils.
Though I hide in smoke and mirrors,
On occasion I do figure
That I'm not the only one, I'm not alone.

What is it keeping me from living?
What it is I'll never know.
Because the person I portray
May differ by the day,
but still the girl I am shrinks back...
She never shows.
Last edited by quoththeraven on Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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A very deep and thoughtful poem. You might want to read the first phrase of your poem again. You wrote 'is' twice. Other than that your poem is awesome.
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres




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This is amazing! It is really well written and the flow is good. Apart from saying 'is' twice in the first stanza and the miss spelling of pretences it is really good. I can't think of anything else to say!

Good Job!
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This poem is very thoughtful, but I felt that the flow broke a few times.
By the grit and cutting grain we call the world.

So I arm myself with masks and false pretenses


These two lines felt a bit long to me, but they're very descriptive. All in all, your diction is good. Nice work!
My main project until Script Frenzy is an experiment using blog posts between four characters as episodes of a common story. You can read this work as it progresses at http://knowallchronicles.blogspot.com/.



But there was no goat man, there was NEVER any goat man!
— OSP Red