Nice but seriously - how short? You need to beef it up a little and give the reader more information and imagery. This was nice but it started and ended within seconds and although that works sometimes - it didn't here.
Even if you just use three or four more lines extra, it would be a nicer end to it because the reader would have more material to work with.
It sounds like Haiku!:) lol But it is sweet reminds one of a mother watching her baby sleep and thinking of how memories like this will soon be forgotten. All in three lines pretty good. I really like it.
I like it. It's very peaceful. I'm not really big on Haiku usually (I guess in general I favor rhyming poetry), but this is really nice. I can almost see the mother rocking her baby to sleep. As I said, very peaceful.
...That was probably the least helpful crit I have ever written. Sorry.
I too like this. I noticed it was a haiku from the first time I looked at it. I especially liked the pearly dawn comparison. Memories fade was interesting too.
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. — Anne Lamott
Sorry.
