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Your eyes are bland.
Like glass from sand.

An overindulging temperance,
a wicked thought of prudence.
A virtue all the same.

Patience as time drags on,
my greatest quality is most boring.
I wonder if...
This farce is worth the thought.

A saint am I?
A wolf howling at a moonless sky?

Possibly...

Possibly...

Sum it up from time and space?
I am a nobleman's fall from grace.

Good.


I really liked your use of structure and rhyme. It really entertained me into reading it. So good job on that.

My favorite stanza was the first one I have to say, because the glass/sand similie took a while to understand, but then I had a "aha"! moment and it all came together.

However, this poem is REALLY confusing. The second stanza doesn't really connect to your first in any way, and it might just start a completely other poem for all we know.

"I wonder if... "
The three dots (how are they called again?) threw me off.

Overall, this is pretty sweet. Good job!

PM me if you have any questions!

I didn't like the rhyme scheme, though despite that, I did like the rhythm. I thought the rhymes seemed like rhyming for the sake of rhyming:

Your eyes are bland.
Like glass from sand.

I don't think that glass is bland; I think it's the sand before the glass that is bland, so I don't know how well the metaphor holds up.

Patience as time drags on,
my greatest quality is most boring.

These lines are confusing, both in and out of context. It sounds like the first line of a riddle, but there aren't enough clues to answer it.

Even if I didn't like the overall rhyming thing, I did like the last two lines especially. The just sounded nice and conclusive, and seemed like a nice tie-back to the beginning.