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My life use to be tranquil,

And at the same time exultant,

Soft pearl like drops would wake me,

Tapping my velvety emerald skin,

Tap, Tap, tap

I would open my eyes,

To the crisp new day,

The sky a greenish-blue dome

With soft fluffy clouds

My fiery heart would leap,

Sending an urge through my sandy veins,

To pluck a cloud and,

Hold it on my tongue

The clouds would waft through my,

High majestic hills, slowly,

Loitering, inspecting my vast beauty

They would hover over lakes,

And rivers that flow freely

But that was then.

Todays and tomorrows mornings will be different,

I wake up to the tingling,

Of the vehicles,

As they plough through my hills

I wake up to the hammering

Of their machines

As they pound on my flesh,

Imprinting painful wounds on me.

They stomp on me,

Walk proudly,

They fight each other for my land,

As if they own all, know all.

They pollute me, torture me,

As if I have no feeling,

They drill within me,

Clog up my rivers,

They make me wheeze and choke.

They produce smoke

That snatches,

The exuberant flames of life,

Which exist within me.

I see from my own eyes,

My body slowly turning gray

Do they notice?

Do they care?

I will not be able to go on,

Do they know, to harm me

Would be a mistake,

For they are only harming themselves,

They go on to build,

Great Civilizations, as they call it,

On my lands, plundering and taking freely,

Always taking freely

I see it from my own eyes,

My beauty turning gray,

My once brilliant emerald skin,

Now gray and charred.

I see it all,

From green to

Gray and then to black,

Complete darkness,

They shall extinguish,

The life within me forever.
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres




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Reviews 461
Well, your use of imagery was lovely in this, although in some places I think you over-did it slightly - I'm not so sure. The imagery that you did use though really made it easy for me to envisage it in my minds eyes and therefore get a better feel of the poem.

The structure was different and I think I would advise you to rethink this, although maybe I am just saying this when I look at my personal preference - the traditional stanzas/verses.

Other than that, to say this is a relatively new site to you and it is only one of your new posts - you've done a good job.
Worship the ginger monkey :) aaand join my new group!

Oh, and enter my new contest!




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Gender Female
Points 890
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first of all plz get some punctuation it would make it so much easier to read. I agree with Ginger that you overdid it a little bit in some parts. It's good to get the point across and elaborate, but there is a stopping point
overall it is a nice piece of work and you deserve a smily :)
"I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom."
--Mel Brooks



Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison