the romantic

the romantic

he was unaware that
when she said till death do us part
she meant la petite mort


(Foot note: la petite mort, [for those who aren't Clau] translates to "the little death". An orgasm, or the spiritual revelations of one.)

I already mumbled at you over this. I love the French, the irony, the sparseness of it. The lack of punctuation and capitalization completely favor it. I'm surprised someone hasn't thought of this before--it seems almost obvious; those specific play on words. Although, it would take someone like you to push them together and make something up.

Continue your magic.

This is lovely, Kit! I like the cleverness and (especially because it's short) the lack of punctuation, and :grr: can't find anything to critique ^_^

This is really good, I love your wit

Normally, I'd rather the capitalisation and punctuation were there, but because of the shortness of the poem, it works as it is. =)

The French really interests me as well here, especially as, even with seven plus years of French, I still haven't come across that phrase, which you have, of course, used very well here. It's all as Clau says.

Do you have any other works with French in? =D

Kay.

Hmm, different and simple.

Lovely, like a piece of art that you have to look at for hours until you actually understand it from the writers point of view.

I remember when I first read this back in September, I remember silently laughing to myself, wondering how many people got the full sense of this piece. Since then I see you've added a footnote. Ironic in itself, simple... yet complex if the reader chooses to delve deeper into your play on words and put it to real life, ahaha.

^ This deserved, I think, that bump of sorts. ^

I love this, it's the most well crafted piece of poetry I've yet to see on these forums. It's fantastic, hardly ever have I seen so much stuff fit so neatly into so little.

This was great, very clever and perfectly articulated.

*Salutes*

Still you continue to surprise me, love. This is gorgeous and cute all at once. To have so much in so little provides this little glimpse into the world, haha. It's such a silly, meaningful thing. Your structure does it complete justice and I love you for it.

*Hearts* Le Penguin.

I do love how this poem plays out, but it does not seem much a narrative, though I wish it were one. Lots of people say they love how short it is, but I would prefer a much longer poem with this as the conclusion. I could see it long and drawn out, romantic as can be, then it ends like that.

Nice work but I think it needs to be few lines longer to soak in the whole feeling of the meaning.

Commical. I found that quite funny. The French was cool, it gave the poem a more sophisticated humor.