Dreams

Okay, this is about my opinion of dreams. And remember, be nice!

Dreams

Dreams are
The things we dare,
The things we share.

Dreams are
What we think,
Our only link.

Dreams
Connect us to each other,
Help us help one another.

Dreams are
The golden gates to our imagination,
A wonderful creation!

Okay... I liked this because it has good imagary but I don't think that it flows all too well. In my opinion, this is because of the second verse and I think you should re-think it, maybe starting off the verse with "Dreams are" instead of just the singular word. I know that this would not make sense with the remainder of the verse, so therefore I think you should re-write that part altogether, as I felt it "bodged" up the stucture and flow a little.

Also, even though I have just suggested it, I'm not too sure about the beginnings of each verse and whether or not they effect the flow, is unknown to me.

But, I liked how the last two lines of each verse rhymed and enjoyed the meaning behind it. I live in a dream world, and love anything to do with them ^^ so I like your interpretation.

Good work.

Be nice? Do I haftooooooooo?

In all honesty, I didn't like this. Mostly because I don't like the cut-off sentence mold, but hey, that's personal preference. ^_~

I've read some of your other poems, and I think, as with this poem, that your biggest problem is bad rhythm.

Dreams are
The things we dare,
The things we share."

This is teetering on the edge of forced rhyme, hon. It also doesn't make much sense.

"Dreams are
What we think,
Our only link."

Our only link to what? Once again, it makes no sense.

"
Dreams
Connect us to each other,
Help us help one another.
"

HOW do they connect us to each other? HOW do they help us help others? You're doing an awful amount of telling and not showing.

"
Dreams are
The golden gates to our imagination,
A wonderful creation!"
>_>"

Wait, wait a pea-pickin' second here! Dreams are not, IMHO, a "creation". Brains are creations. Gates are creations. Creations of God. So, to "create a dream"....just doesn't make sense. And thus, this does not make sense.

That did not make sense, lol. >>" ^

All over all, I think you should completely ditch this poem. It just didn't make sense.

The rhyming is in that shady grey area between forced and OK, the rhythm is patchy and...there's no imagery. All telling, no showing.

Actually, I think that a subject so broad as this can't be summed up by a simple poem. So I suggest that you ditch the main idea, but focus on a single dream. You know?

Hope that helped. Show, don't tell, and keep writing!

Sumi

This is too general and going in too many directions for it to be an effective poem. I'd suggest picking one stanza (specifically, one of the middle two) and going off of that. You've got some lines down, now just colour them in a bit ^_^