Ceasing Souls

Wings of angels are
Rived by ravens
Out of pure sport.

Songs of children are
Writhed by writes
Of a poetic sort.

Hopes of futures are
Contorted by counts
In this obscene court.

Alright I really like the scheme/layout for this poem and how it followed through the whole poem. It was nice and simple but it worked well.

Two things I would change:

Writhed by writes

I would use a different word other than writes. It reminds me of playwrights without the play. So perhaps or authors.

And:

Hopes of futures are

I would change futures to perhaps the future or future times.

However it was pretty good. Well done (:

AllHopeEclipsed555 wrote:Wings of angels are
Rived by ravens
Out of pure sport.

I liked this poem but there is one thing I didn't understand. The last line of the first first, referring to sport. Now, this is probably because I'm an idiot and can't work anything out for toffee, but still, thought I'd let you know just in case it wasn't.

Still, good work.

The poem flowed well and I liked the imagary.

I liked this poem but I think it needs more. maybe more to do with the title ceasing souls? A few more stanzas and it will be much better!

Thank all of you, I will consider your suggestions. lol I just made myself sound intellegent ^_\\