Thank God your grammar is basically impeccable [I hope I'm using the right word], and you've already established your characters nicely.
What stands out about this story, one of Cosmo/Politan's great characteristics is the dialogue. Very real, very natural and it doesn't sound forced. But it doesn't bore the reader.
The only thing you forgot, and I'm guessing that it's just a typing mistake, is this:
"So what?" I ask, walking into . "Maybe I'm into that."
Where's she walking into?
So far, so good.
"Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive electronic music." --anonymous/banner.
