Unknown Story Chap. 10 part 3

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~*~*~


Khor slept soundly that night and awoke pleased. Vathen was, of course, waiting for him and was already packed and ready for traveling. Just as Khor had finished packing the remains of his area he said, “So how much further until we reach The Last City?”

“We should be there in two hours.” Khor’s want of sleeping in a warm bed overcame the feeling of anger that Vathen had them sleep on the ground when they were only a few hours away from the city.

The brisk morning air helped Khor awake easily. The rest of the walk contained no talk and the two began to round up a small hill. Khor was the first to reach the top and when he did stood, wide eyed.

In the near distance was The Last City. There were tall buildings with reflective glass all over. There were roads suspended in the air and some came out of the city and curved around it beautifully. On the roads small black dots were moving. Khor strained to see what they were but he could not. There were people in colorful clothes bustling around and in the buildings. The morning sun reflected off the buildings softly to light up the city.

Khor had just noticed Vathen had not stopped to watch and had to catch up with him. When he did he said, “That’s The Last City! I knew it was the most technologically advanced city in Dyphrobis, but... It looks amazing!”

“We can only stay here for a few days. Or at least until I gather the necessary information.” The area around them began to become less grass and wilderness and started to become metal, soon their boots were clanking on hard, grey metal. They eventually met a road with large, hexagon, mirrors covering it. There was a smaller road made of metal and the two continued walking on that. As they turned the corner of the first building they came to the roads were filled with people and there were strange machines traveling on the reflective roads.

The machines had one sitting area for either one to two people. The sitting pod was the length of a human man and had a smooth wheel placed in front of the rider. There were two large wheels propelling the machine in the front and back. In the riding pod there was a large glass windshield. Both the left and right of the machine were opened aired so you could get in and out easily. The machines came in either red or blue. Khor thought he saw a few black ones but there were mostly blue ones.

Vathen did not stop to look at anything and Khor nearly lost him in the vast crowd. I’m not sure if the crowds here are better or worse in Cyte. Then Khor stopped and thought of all the people he left behind in Cyte. All the people he let be taken over by the Krashvok.

He looked up and saw Vathen’s silver-blue hair deep in the busting crowd and tried to catch up. When he did he said, “Where are we going first?”

“We’re going to try and find an inn. Then we need to discover helpful areas in the city.” The two walked for a while and eventually found a large building marked, “The Bythelees Hotel” When the two entered they came into an average sized room with a beautiful rug, several couches, a small table, and a counter with a man in a new fresh suit behind it. Vathen approached the man. “Are there any rooms available?” The man was obviously not too used to having a blindfolded man knowing exactly where he was. “Let me check.” He said in a nervous, high-pitched voice. He opened a massive book that lay on the counter and ruffled through it.

Khor was looking at a large tapestry that hung on the wall and paid no attention to what the other two were doing. The man obviously found what he was looking for and replied, “Yes, Room 36, Third Floor. Two beds, view, bathroom, and closet. Does that sound suitable?” Vathen nodded and the man said “Two crowns, one tower for first night. Six towers for every day after.” He retreated to a room behind the desk and returned with a small silver key. Vathen found the necessary coins and set them down on the counter. The man scooped them up and gave Vathen the key.

“Khor, lets go.” The two began to walk when the man called after them, “Wait, you need to sign-“Vathen paid no attention so Khor followed. The main area was a large room that stretched towards the ceiling. Light burst in through the windows and there were several balconies placed on top of each other. On the left and right were two, tube-things with glass capsules that carried people to the higher levels. Vathen approached one and the sliding door opened itself and Khor quickly followed.

There was a door on the other side of the capsule but was closed. The door shut behind Khor and the capsule began to rise. It rose to the third floor and stopped. Vathen exited and went down a hallway to the right. The hallway ended quickly and they were soon walking on the open balcony, overlooking the floor where they had just been. Vathen stopped in front of a door which had the numbers 36 on them.

He jammed the key into the keyhole and opened the door briskly. Vathen entered the room as if he had been there several times before and laid his pack on one of the beds. He quickly checked the closet and, satisfied, he picked up his pack again and left. Khor stepped out of his way and Vathen turned to lock the door.

“.” He whispered softly. One of the tiles in front of the door rose up and Vathen dropped the key into the place. The tile drifted slowly to fill its place and Vathen continued on. “You can scout out the area on your own. We’ll meet back here in three hours. I have business to take care of.” With this, he left Khor and exited the building faster than when he had come in.

Khor went down the moving capsule and entered the lobby. The man behind the desk was looking very cross and looked at Khor furiously. He thrust the book towards Khor with a quill in its crease, “Sign here.” He said bluntly. Khor took the quill and signed, “Khoralie Jushinji”

He left the building and had the sun’s bright light poke him in the eyes as he left the dimly lit hotel. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes and saw the busting crowd and the metal machines.

As Khor explored the area he walked by a silver post and heard a voice, “Hello, is there anything I can do to help you?” Khor stopped and looked around, trying to find the speaker. The voice came again, “Hello is there anything I can do to help you?” Khor slowly walked over to the rectangular post and heard the mechanical voice again. There was a soft glowing screen on the post, tilted upward.

The phrase was written on the screen and Khor touched it lightly. A different image came up and a number of buttons were available. At the top of the screen it said,


Help Post


The buttons underneath it said, “Map, Language, Question and, Address.” Khor lightly tapped, Map. Lines, boxes and dots stretched out before him. He tapped on the box that was in the center. A small rectangle formed next to it, it read, “Fyrel Corp.” Khor smiled and tapped where he thought the hotel was. It read, “Bythelees Hotel.” Khor reviewed the map several times until he knew where most shops, offices, and hotels in the city were. He tapped the exit button on the screen and left. He walked for a few minutes and eventually found a small building with the inscription, Gereth and Son’s Weapons. Khor pushed open the door and saw an empty shop. Three of the walls had shelves or stands and on the opposite wall was a counter with a door leading to a back room.

The air seemed still. It was very thick and humid. There was a dusty silver bell on the counter but Khor thought it might be better to call only if he needed help. Khor looked at one display at a time. Despite the dust, mustiness, and uncleanlyness, the weapons displayed were very impressive. Some of the best craftsmanship Khor had every seen.

Khor took a particular interest in a fine long sword. It was light blue in the hilt with a deep blue jewel on the pummel. The blade was silver and seemed to have casting marks infused into it. He wiped away a bit of the dust with his forefinger and recognized one of the several marks. , it stood for slashing or piercing. Most of the other marks were swimming across the blade to quickly for Khor to see them properly.

As Khor leaned closer to peer at the blade more closely, he accidentally breathed on it. The casting symbols flared and burned bright gold. They also froze and stopped moving across the blade. They grew brighter and Khor stepped back, shielding his eyes. Suddenly a voice came from the blindness, “I haven’t seen it do that for someone in forty years.” The marks cooled and continued moving. All was silent once again. Khor looked over at the counter and saw a very old man behind it.

“My name it Gereth. I run the shop here. What’s your name?”

“Khor.” Khor replied automatically.

“Hmm.” The man limped out from behind the counter and walked over to Khor. With two fleshy, thin hands he shook Khor’s. “Pleasure to meet you, Khor. I would like to explain what you just saw. As you could no doubt tell, that sword has been infused with magic.” Khor glanced at the sword and wondered why this old shop keeper was attempting to explain its mysteries.

“Its name is, Teracel. It was made for one purpose, to kill. Its first master, however, used it against its purpose. He used Teracel only when he needed to. In fact, when he was once ambushed by over fifty Shades, he used only magic and his fists to defeat all of them. Legend has it, that whenever the master became extremely angry, or was at peace with himself, the blade would flare bright gold.”

“How old is its master?”

“Oh, he pasted away over seven hundred years ago.”

“But I thought you said the last time you saw it do that was forty years ago.”

“Hmm. You are sharp. Its true, the last person who I ever saw do that was my son. Once he realized who he was, he stole the sword and went off to find out where it came from and to see if the master was still alive. He died. He was young and foolish. Shortly after, my wife obtained terrible dieses and also passed away.”

“I’m very sorry for both your losses but, why are you telling me about all of this?”

“Because you are the next one! You are the one who will carry Teracel again!”
“I’m sorry sir but, this all seems not only unlikely but very unbelievable. I’m sorry for your losses…” Khor left the shop silently and heard a bell tinkle as he left.

Attempting to forget the old man and the golden sword, Khor continued to explore the city. With the small money he had, he found a nice brewery and purchased a mug of coffee. He drank it under an umbrella table outside and enjoyed the light breeze on his face. Khor found another Help Post, and used it to find the time. He had about ten minutes before he had to meet Vathen back at the hotel. He found it in time and was there before Vathen was. He muttered a spell that would remove the tile and he opened the door and placed the key back. Khor sat on his bed and stared at the door for several seconds.

Feeling bored Khor went through his pack and retrieved a bar a soap. He retreated into the bathroom and left his clothes on the ground. He found a towel on the toilet and dropped it next to his clothes. He stepped into the shower and turned a silver knob. Heated water blasted through the nozzle and Khor was instantly relaxed.

After the shower Khor put on a robe, provided by the hotel. He stepped into the main room and saw that Vathen had still not returned. He walked over to the window and wrenched back the curtains. Light burst into the dark room and Khor was looking down unto a beautiful city. The machines were rolling all around and the people bustled about, going on with their business.

Khor looked down on them for several minutes and eventually looked away. Khor changed into fresh clothes and lay down on the bed. Having the feeling of not knowing what to do at all, Khor went through his pack again. Having found a sharpening stone and a cloth, Khor sharpened and cleaned Malden. He gazed into the soft black blade and ran his finger up it. How do you infuse casting into swords? Khor dearly wanted to attempt it but wouldn’t risk harming his father’s sword.

Khor’s father attended Spark Bright Academy as well and easily rose to the top of his class. There he met Khor’s mother and the two fell in love. When the two graduated, they settled in Hyresh and had Khor. Khor’s father left to go on some mission where the King had requested him. Khor read the report and it had said he was missing, everyone else thought he was dead.

Khor’s mother left Hyresh to search for him and abandoned Khor in the Academy. The only thing he had to remind himself of his father was Melden, the katana. Khor handled the blade carefully and washed it until it shone even in the dark light. Khor found and duster and placed the cloth on the wooden end and cleaned the inside of the scabbard.

The door bust open and Vathen stepped in. “Khor.” He left the room and Khor sheathed Melden and followed. They exited the hotel and Khor said, “Where are we going?”

“I need you to meet someone. It took me longer to find him than I expected and I had to hurry.” Khor followed silently. The sun was completely hidden and the moon began to shine. With the appearance of the moon the streets were now completely empty. Only the glow of the lamps, buildings, and Help Posts lit their way. Vathen took many twists and turns until they were nearly in the outskirts of the city. There was construction being made on new buildings and Vathen turned sharply into an alley.

When they were at the end he looked around suspiciously. “Who is this guy?”

“Shh!” Vathen rested his hand on the wall and a thin line shone around his hand. A very small door slide back to reveal a dark passageway. Vathen walked into it without flinching and Khor followed. Khor wanted badly to ask what was going on but not only thought it would be better to see where this was going but also that Vathen had not yet led him into a trap.

Moonlight began to light up the passageway as it started to open up. They came out into a several story building that was still being built. The moon was hanging far away and lit up the open aired room with brilliant moonlight. There was a heavily cloaked figure standing on the edge of the building, gazing into the distance. As he heard the two coming he turned slightly but not so Khor could see his face. “Were you followed?” Asked a plain voice that didn’t seem to have any significant properties at all.

“No.” Replied Vathen bluntly.

“Is that Khor?”

“Yes.”

“Let me see him” Vathen nodded to Khor and he walked up to the man. He was taller than Khor but was hunched over. He looked at Khor but his face was shrouded in shadow. He reached one, withered old hand towards Khor and he said, “Your arm.” Khor rolled up his sleeve and gave it to the man. Khor didn’t completely trust this man but trusted Vathen, and Vathen trusted this man. “Who are you?” Asked Khor, reasonably.

“No questions, a little higher.” Khor rolled his sleeve higher and the man gripped it harder. His other hand leap from under the cloak and was holding a thin needle with a small canister on the end. He jabbed it into Khor’s arm and squeezed the small lever on the end of the canister. Khor’s vision began to darken and he tried to hit the man but fell face foreword. His senses swimming and his vision clouded he uttered one word with hatred, “Vathen.”


*~*~*


Vathen caught Khor and laid him gently on the ground, leaning against a beam. “It is done?” Asked Vathen. The man in the cloak nodded and ripped off his hood. A pale, aged face shone in the moonlight.

“He won’t remember anything?”

“He’ll remember when, or if he has to. I added a small dose of a powerful sedative, this entire night will be a blur.”

“You believe it will work then?”

“If it doesn’t, we’re all in a lot of trouble. He might need another in a few years.” Vathen nodded and stood. He shook hands with the man and said, “Thank you.” The man nodded and pulled his hood back up. He muttered, “.” And shot off into the distance. Now just a spec in the distance, Vathen lifted Khor in his arms. He carried him through the hallway.

When they reached the hotel it was dark and the man behind the desk was no longer there. Vathen went up to the room and laid Khor on his bed. “All our hope is in you, Khor.”

~*~*~


When Khor awoke his head was swimming and the sun was bursting through the open window. Vathen was not in his bed and when Khor tried to stand he fell on his bed. Feeling unstable and unbalanced he took it one step at a time. He found a note on the door, it said,


Khor, I have gone out to take care of business. Feel free to explore on your own but don’t talk to anyone you feel oddly about. I tell you this and beg that you will obey. Do not attempt to cast any magic today. Trust me and please stay on the main streets. Be back at the hotel room by five o’clock tonight. Do not be on the streets after dark and watch your back. Burn this note in the shower room once you have read it.

Vathen


Khor read the note over the note once more and headed for the bathroom. Khor found a match and struck it against the wall, a spark caught onto the paper and it slowly burned as Khor dropped it into the bottom of the shower’s floor.

He left the room and exited the hotel. Khor once again visited the Help Post and discovered many nice places to eat but thought it would be foolish to waste the small amount he had saved up.

Khor visited other weapon shops mentioned in the Help Post. All were much more fancy and cleaner but not one had as magnificent craftsmanship as the ones in Gereth and Son’s.
Next Khor visited a library, it wasn’t half a large or impressive as the library in Cyte. Then he remembered the girl. She was killed, just like the rest of the townspeople… Khor stopped, resting his hand on a bookshelf. He closed his eyes and walked along the bookshelf, sliding his hand on all the books on that row.

Khor stopped and opened his eyes. The book his hand had rested on was simply titled, Casting Binding Summoning and Darkness. The book was deep blue and had a black spine. Khor pulled it down from the shelf and inspected it more closely. His hand brushed the black clasping and a sharp pain shot up his arm.

Khor wrenched back his hand and dropped the book. He picked it up, confused. He looked at the clasping more closely and saw very thin blue veins swimming across it. Khor picked it up and found a small corner of the library, one in the shadows. Khor curled up in a comfortable chair and inspected the book again.

Khor brought the book so close to his eye the two nearly touched. The veins stopped moving and gathered around his eye. They suddenly jumped out of the book and attached themselves to his eye. Khor stood and screamed. Clawing at his eye to try and get it off. “!” He screamed. The casting was supposed to unattach or take off the directed item. The veins crawled into Khor’s head and began to swim into his brain. Khor could feel them attacking everything in his brain. He screamed, several people came rushing but none knew what to do.

“!!” Khor screamed at the top of his lungs. As the marks flew from his lips they burned his throat and made his eyes water. The terrible spell cut through the air and it seemed as if the world had stilled. The veins burned hot and white in Khor’s head and he felt as if his head was on fire.

Khor clenched his head convulsively and dropped to the floor. The pain left only a white flash and clouded voices. Khor felt someone pick him up and his vision cleared just enough to see the book drifting further and further away. Khor attempted to say book but what was really sounded was a hoarse cough. The person carrying him stopped and quickly scooped up the book. Then everything went dark…
I used to rule the world, see it rise when I gave the word, now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own

-Coldplay, Viva La Viva




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Very interesting. Good plot.

I'd work on dialogue formatting, it's a little hard to read as it is.

-evangelina
Break the boundaries, hunt the hunter, and leave me a tip.
----to kill or not to kill




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“So how much further until we reach The Last City?”

Ya, you gotta fix this. It's really wierd.

I’m not sure if the crowds here are better or worse in Cyte.

Say, "He wasn't sure if the crowds..." don't use I'm, switched POV.

Khor wanted badly to ask what was going on but not only thought it would be better to see where this was going but also that Vathen had not yet led him into a trap.

the last part of that sentance is a little confusing, you might reword it.

Cool! I like the city. Things are gitting more mysterious :D.

So, I told you I was going to be gone, but I managed to find a computer so, ya. I probably won't be reveiwing again for like a week though so see ya and good job!

-greenjay
the greenjay strikes again...




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Hello again! The usual general feeling that some more description would be nice but you have a good plot and it just needs tidying up a little. Here's my suggestions -

Just as Khor [s]had[/s] finished packing the remains of his area he said, “So how much further until we reach The Last City?”

Khor’s want of sleeping in a warm bed overcame the feeling of anger that Vathen had them sleep on the ground when they were only a few hours away from the city. [Perhaps mingled with rather than overcame?]

The brisk morning air helped Khor [s]awake easily[/s] to wake up.

Khor was the first to reach the top and when he did, he stood, wide eyed.

They eventually met a road with large, hexagonal, mirrors covering it.

As they turned the corner of the first building they came to, the roads were filled with people and there were strange machines travelling on the reflective roads.

The machines came in either red or blue. Khor thought he saw a few black ones but there were mostly blue ones. [They came in red or blue but some were black? You need to take another look at this.]

Then Khor stopped and thought of all the people he had left behind in Cyte.

He looked up and saw Vathen’s silver-blue hair deep in the bustling crowd and tried to catch up.

“Let me check.” [Comma and small letter instead of full stop.] He said in a nervous, high-pitched voice.

There was a door on the other side of the capsule but it was closed.

“.” He [Again, comma and small letter.] whispered softly.

He lifted his hand to shield his eyes and saw the bustling crowd and the metal machines.

Some of the best craftsmanship Khor had [s]every[/s] ever seen.

Most of the other marks were swimming across the blade too quickly for Khor to see them properly.

“Oh, he [s]pasted[/s] passed away over seven hundred years ago.”

It's true, the last person who I ever saw do that was my son.

Shortly after, my wife obtained a terrible [s]dieses[/s] disease and also passed away.”

Light burst into the dark room and Khor was looking down [s]unto[/s] onto a beautiful city.

Having found a sharpening stone and a cloth, Khor sharpened and cleaned Malden.[Isn't the sword called Melden?]

Khor found [s]and[/s] a duster and placed the cloth on the wooden end and cleaned the inside of the scabbard.

A very small door [s]slide[/s] slid back to reveal a dark passageway.

His other hand leapt from under the cloak and was holding a thin needle with a small canister on the end.

Khor’s vision began to darken and he tried to hit the man but fell face [s]foreword[/s] forward.

Now just a speck in the distance, Vathen lifted Khor in his arms.

Khor read [s]the note[/s] over the note once more and headed for the bathroom.

Next Khor visited a library, it wasn’t half as large or impressive as the library in Cyte.

Overall, good work and I'm looking forward to reading the next part.
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.



I regret everything.
— Ron Swanson