Terrorism's Hope.

Deleted

That. Was. Amazing! a few gramatical errors and typos, but I honestly can't remember exactly what they were. I'm sure a quick read-through could help with that.

Let's see... what else? some parts started droning a little bit. There was some unneccesarry descritption. Try clipping it a bit, maybe shorter paragraphs.

and finally, very minor thing, but I got confused at the very end. it took a bit for me to realize we'd switched POV. Maybe put a *** between the last two paragraphs?

great story. keep it up!

Pidgin_Princess wrote:That. Was. Amazing! a few gramatical errors and typos, but I honestly can't remember exactly what they were. I'm sure a quick read-through could help with that.

Let's see... what else? some parts started droning a little bit. There was some unneccesarry descritption. Try clipping it a bit, maybe shorter paragraphs.

and finally, very minor thing, but I got confused at the very end. it took a bit for me to realize we'd switched POV. Maybe put a *** between the last two paragraphs?

great story. keep it up!

YATTA! Thank you for your comment. I will look at it again and fix what I find.

Not half bad--but not nonfiction. ^~ If you expressly tell us that it's fictional in the beginning, why is it in this section, hm?

Also--there's a typo in the title. It should be "Terrorism's," not "Torrorisms."

Fand wrote:Not half bad--but not nonfiction. ^~ If you expressly tell us that it's fictional in the beginning, why is it in this section, hm?

Also--there's a typo in the title. It should be "Terrorism's," not "Torrorisms."

Damn apostrophes.

A mod will move it eventually.