I don't think it was confusing; I got it. Tangles, tangles.... Brad and Kiera, Cat and the abducted Annie.
I saw only this:
sokool wrote:His excellent vision enabled him to see every detail clearly, and he smiled as he saw King Raztik, talking to a guard on the front steps of his castle, a boyish grin lighting his face.
Nix the comma.
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir
YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Perfect. Okay, first of all, I think you kinda slipped magic in there rather nicely. It wasn't too abrubt. I think I liked the thing about the price... Uh, in the begining I don't like how you had Marimamne say, "Cross my heart hope to die." That seems extremely childish and kind of unnessasarry.
I like the thing with the soilders and whatnot. Uh, poor Annie Witcher Bubber... Anyway, at least they got Cat. He he... Okay, thats just about it.
~Pol~
I used to rule the world, see it rise when I gave the word, now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own
If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet. — Neil Gaiman
