Okay, so despite the fact that this is a re-write, it is completely different than the origional, and takes the end to a whole new place. Yay! lol
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Chapter 43
-All too Real
- On Both Accounts
There are some moments in life when you know exactly what’s going to happen, and when. Then there are times like these, when the world throws cards at you. The deck you get is the one you have to live with.
My father was not supposed to cry, you can be mad at
somebody who’s crying. You cant hate somebody you feel bad for. It’s just
all too real. The problems, the effects, the consequences.
Was what he did really worth what I did to him? I’m beginning to
doubt it.
***
“Maybe you should just run away,” Amber said.
They were in Jamie’s room, sitting on the floor. The notebook was in
Jamie’s hands. She loved the feel of the now worn notebook, and it’s
pages. There were less and less blank pages, soon she would be done.
“I always just run away,” Jamie said cynically.
“I mean for real. No going back. We could both get jobs, rent an
apartment. You’d be free.”
“It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I would love to leave, but…it’s my
mom. I can’t leave her to this life.” Jamie looked toward the corner of the
room near the door. One of the many times Mary had interfered to protect
Jamie, she had fallen unconscious to Richard’s blows there. She had
changed, everybody changes, but that didn’t make her any worse a person.
She was still Jamie’s mom, she would always be Jamie’s mom.
“You could convince her to leave,” Amber suggested, trying to follow
Jamie’s gaze around the room.
“She wouldn’t go for it. Look, Amber, I just can’t go. Okay?”
Amber caught Jamie’s gaze and held it. Jamie could see in her eyes that
she was about to say something, bad.
“Don’t be like her.”
Jamie’s mind had been going a mile a minute, too fast for her to know
what she was thinking, let alone what she was doing. Before the thought
crossed her mind, her arm flashed out.
Amber was on the ground, her hand to her cheek, a tear down her face.
“Don’t ever say that,” Jamie said through gritted teeth.
Amber sat up, eyes wide with shock. Her hand was still glued to her face.
“Or maybe, you’re going to be more like him.”
Jamie held herself still, not allowing so much as a blink.
“I...am…not…like…him…” she said. Anger poured out of her words like water
boiling over the edge of a pot.
“No you’re not.” Amber stood up, her hand dropping to her side, “But you’re
doubting yourself. Who you really are. That’s when it happens. The minute
you start to doubt yourself you become who you don’t want to be.”
Amber turned to leave the room, she stopped with the door a crack open
and her hand on the doorknob. “Goodbye, Jamie.”
A rush of tears fell down Jamie’s face, she couldn’t even say goodbye back.
Then Amber was gone.
Jamie curled up in a ball on the ground letting the tears flow.
***
I’m not like him. I’m not like him. I’m not like him.
I’m worse…
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Next:
Chapter 44
-Changes
