Rock Bottom

I wish I can turn around,
So I can look away and couldn't see the ground.
There lay the scar of how hard I've hit,
the rock bottom that hard to life.
The nature that remains stand still,
and me that sinking with chill.
The way to turn is sudden dark,
I stuck in the middle without a spark.

The tenses in this poem are really very wonky. Typically--though I'm not entirely sure it's not grammatically correct--one would never see "I wish I can." It's always, "I wish I could." The way you have it here just doesn't make any sense.

- The second couplet (There lay... hard to life") doesn't rhyme. And, um, it doesn't make any sense. Do you speak English?

- Yeah, the sixth line doesn't make sense either.

- Your grammar in the last couplet is perfectly dreadful. "I stuck?" Please tell me English isn't your first language; it would make me feel much better about this poem.

As it is, this is... dreadful. I'm sorry, it is. It makes little sense, the images are all cliched, your grasp of basic grammar and conjugation is negligible, and--it's--well, it's just awful over-all.

Better luck next time.

Hmm...

I feel like it's not really fair for me to critique this with the same expectations I'd have for any other poem, because English is your second language, which obviously makes writing poetry very difficult. Considering that English isn't your first language, I'm just impressed that you can convey any sort of meaning. I won't be too harsh with this, because I think it's brave of you to post this if you're unfamiliar with English, and I don't want to discourage you. Here are some tips for improving your poetry:

-Before attempting more poetry, I'd definitely spend a lot of time studying and familiarizing yourself with English grammar and sentence structure; as Fand pointed out, this poem is grammatically incorrect to the point that a lot of it doesn't make sense.

-Until you become more familiar with English, free-verse poetry will probably be easier to write; that way you can focus on just conveying the meaning with the correct grammar, etc. and not have to worry about a rhyme scheme.

-Read lots of poetry in English and observe it closely.

I hope that helped. Keep trying, and good luck!

I wish I can (could) turn around,
So I can (could) look away and couldn't see the ground.
There lay the scar of how hard I've hit,(the scar of how hard I hit sounds a little odd. Maybe, the scar from when I hit)
the rock bottom that hard to life.(That hard to life doesn't make any sense.)
The nature that remains stand still,(Is standing still?
and me that sinking with chill.(And I am sinking with a chill?)
The way to turn is sudden dark,
I stuck in the middle without a spark.(The last two lines were my favorite)

**This poem has a lot of potential you just need to watch for grammatical errors. Good job.

Keep it up!
~Rieda

I liked the general idea of your poem and the first 2 lines were really good, it was just that your grammatical accuracy let you down.

I'd suggest that you use some of the people's ideas above on what you could change it to so that it would make more sense.

Also i'm curious, what did you mean by the third line about rock bottom that hard to life? Cause I just can't figure it out. Did you mean the rock bottom that hardened to life?

Keep writing and i'm sorry if i haven't been very helpful