The dog came towards her then stopped. She steadied her gun, the dog barked and growled while wagging its tail. She ran back to her black horse and rode off. She rode past trees and back to her cabin. She grabbed a small crystal container will an angel lid. She unscrewed the top and it was a bubble tube. She walked on to her deck and blew some bubbles. Inside the bubbles were angels.
“I need guidance. What do I do about the neighbor’s dogs? Should I shoot them or get a cop?” The bubble angels started singing softly and quietly.
“You need to contact Ilia-”
“I asked you for advice! Not your music!” She swatted at the bubbles and popped them. She blew a few more bubbles.
“Where can I find the Ilia bubble?” The bubbles stayed silent and popped. She blew a few more.
“Where can I find the Ilia bubble?!” These bubbles did the same as the others.
“I need to find the Ilia bubble!” Right after she said that she blew a bubble.
“I am the Ilia bubble, you asked for me right before you blew me.”
“What should I do about the dogs?”
“Shoot them!” Another bubble appeared.
“Tyla!”
“Who are you? I only blew one bubble!”
“I am the real Ilia, the other bubble is my twin sister Tyla, I act like an angel and she acts like a devil.” Ilia said. Ilia floated over to her twin and popped her twin.
“How can I tell you and your twin apart?”
“I am a bigger bubble then her.”
“What should I do about the dogs? I can’t just leave them, their owner is in jail and won’t come back for more than six months!”
“Do what you believe in, but I suggest you get someone who can take these dogs to a shelter.”
“Who?”
“Get help from a cop.”
“Thanks Ilia. Why are you bigger than your sister? It is not like she is younger than you.”
“She was born first though, I was born moments after, but that has nothing to do with our sizes. I am bigger because I have helped more people then her, The more people I help the bigger I get.”
“She helps people too doesn’t she?”
“Yes, but not as well. She gives them bad advice. Most of her past clients are either dead or in jail. Now when she talks to a client, there are hidden bubbles watching her, which is why I showed up all the sudden!”
“Wow.”
“I got to go! There is another client needing help! I better get to him before Tyla! Bye!”
“Bye Ilia.”
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TBOTB stands for "The Break Of The Bubbles" and there will be more, much more. I just have not written it yet.
If you read the subtopics you would know what POTE and TBOTB.
Do you notice how you start every sentence with 'she'? This is a commen thing, something that a lot of writers don't notcie. Sentence structer is a big part in the difference between a good writer, and a person who enjoys writing. Being able to provide different types of sentences and words can make a big difference. If you need help on how to fix this particular paragraph, PM me, and I'll give you some suggestions or more advice.
This just doesn't seems right for some reason. I like the fact that she is the real Ilia, but the whole 'I act like an angel and she acts like a devil' thing is a tad overdone. Try mixing it up a bit and saying that she's just her sister. Maybe she's envious, or evil, or just likes not helping, but try to word it in a less chessy way. Also, I think her sister would have a little something to say about her sister popping her. You think she'd put up a bit more of a fight.
Now, onto the story... 
