Sestina

I wrote this back in 2000 or 1999. It was my senior year of high school.

The style of the poem is a sestina. The rules are as follows:

1 2 3 4 5 6 - End words of lines in first sestet.
6 1 5 2 4 3 - End words of lines in second sestet.
3 6 4 1 2 5 - End words of lines in third sestet.
5 3 2 6 1 4 - End words of lines in fourth sestet.
4 5 1 3 6 2 - End words of lines in fifth sestet.
2 4 6 5 3 1 - End words of lines in sixth sestet.

Elfin ears prick in the wind
Hearing an arrow notched in the string
Almond-shaped eyes, watching the arrow, narrow slightly
A mouth is pulled tight in a line
Auburn hair, behind the ear, blows in the breeze
As the arrow is released to the sky.

Ivory-white wings slice through the sky
Clouds whip past in the wind
Pink flower petals are held aloft in the breeze
A row of doves, with the petals, flit in a string
Three faeries flutter with the doves in a straight line
The elf’s arrow whizzes past, missing slightly.

Merry women giggle slightly
As three pairs of eyes gaze at the doves in the sky.
Three maidens dance in a line
Their blonde, auburn, and red hair blow in the wind.
Held tightly in their hands is a string
That they wrap around the May Pole as the doves fly on the breeze.

A flower from the auburn hair escapes on the breeze
Moving through the trees slightly.
Escaping the entrapment of a little boy’s string
A kite upon the string flies high into the sky
His yellow hair fluffs in the wind
As fish swim from his fishing line.

A school of trout swims past the line
As bugs dance in the breeze.
Pollen clouds the air of the lake, carried by bug and wind.
The fish turn slightly
As a bird swoops from the sky.
One bird, in his mouth, holds a kite string.

The maidens hold the string
The fishes skirt the line
Doves and faeries dot the sky
A flower drifts on the breeze
Merry laughter giggles slightly

Ooh. I've not heard of this kind of poem before, which makes it difficult to critique, since I don't have past experience with them to compare it to. I will say though that it seems like a difficult style to write in, as it sounds quite repetitive, but that is kind of unavoidable, I suppose. Apart from that, I think there is some good description here, and I could visualise the scene well. Good job.

We touched it in Creative writing, but never really examined the mechanics behind it. It sounds very good. I'm still not fully grasped as to what the meaning was, but i didn notice that the arroow went by the doves and the doves went by the maidens. So i figured it was showing the connection og things. Or something of that nature.

It was very nice, Not hard difficult to read. I dont know much about this type of poem so i wouldn't take my critique too seriously.