A Castle By the Sea

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“I always liked the ocean.”

Silence followed Skye’s comment.

He continued, looking at the quickly-fading sunset. “Our castle is inland, and Mother never liked me to be near the shore -- she feared invasion, you see -- but every once in a while, when I got the chance, I’d fly down low over the crests. The sea spray was refreshing. Always helped me think clearer. I often came to the shore after fights with Father, and even more frequently after his death.” He paused, sighing. “I rather like the ocean better in dragonform than in humanform.”

Skye studied his still-silent companion. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

“No need to,” came the reply. “Keep rowing.”

Skye grimaced. “It’s rather uncomfortable with a knife to my neck, you know.”

“The knife stays. Keep rowing.”

Having no other choice, Skye continued rowing. The tiny boat was almost out of sight of the docks, and the swells were growing. Finally, after the knife nicked his throat, he protested.

“Sir, please. If you’re going to kill me, at least let my last moments be comfortable.”

Saphirus took the knife away, grabbing Skye’s neck in its place. He closed his eyes and concentrated. As a thin, translucent cord began wrapping itself around Skye’s body, binding him with darkness, Saphirus spoke.

“Comfort? No, I think not. Was my father comfortable when you dragged him into the rain and murdered him? Was my Master comfortable when you strangled him in his Tower?”

“I didn’t kill them!” Skye cried, panic pouring into his voice.

Saphirus sneered. “Oh, that’s right. I had almost forgotten. You were too much of a coward to face them yourself, so you paid a few of your dirty assassins to do the job. Very clever, Your Highness. How noble of you.”

“Please, you can’t do this. My men will hunt you down. They’ll --”

“They’ll what? Kill me? They won’t be able to find me. And I’ll have had my revenge.” He paused. “Stop rowing.”

Skye dropped the oars, whimpering. “Why are you doing this?” He began struggling against the slowly-tightening bonds. “Taking my life will not bring them back...”

“No, but it will make me feel better.” He leaned in close to Skye, his face mere inches from his prey. “The question is not why I’m doing this, but why you chose to do what you did. Why did you choose to eliminate those who held the most valuable information? What made destroying innocent lives worth it? What justifies your actions?”

Skye looked away. Finally, he met Saphirus’ steady cold gaze. He half-smiled and shrugged. “All for the good of my kingdom, right?”

Saphirus slashed out with his knife, slicing a precise line across Skye’s throat. He watched as the Gold King’s expression changed from mocking laughter to horror. He didn’t look away as Skye twitched against the cords, writhing in pain and the body’s reaction to death. Then all was still, the gushing blood slowing to a trickle.

Saphirus looked at the corpse in disgust. He thrust his knife deep into Skye’s heart. “The deaths of my father and Master, avenged,” he whispered, pulling his knife out and shoving the body overboard. He looked up to the stars, now peeking out from behind the clouds, and began rowing back to the docks. His heart’s purpose fulfilled, he had nowhere left to go.
Last edited by Crysi on Wed Jun 13, 2007 5:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Love and Light




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Then all was still, the gushing blood[s]y[/s] slowing to a trickle.


Very good! I only found the one typo. I love it. You did a very good job.(I really should go look at the quote and pic)

Even though I dont know what those were I think you did an excellent job :D
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Oops, how did I miss that typo? I read that sentence about a million times... *laughs* Thanks. Fixed.

Glad you liked it. :)
Love and Light




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Oy. #_# ...Tov has no doubts at this point as to avoiding Saphirus. At any cost. ^_^'


Offhand character remarks aside, I enjoyed this earnestly. The interaction both in dialogue and action between Skye and Saphirus is taut, no loose string lying about.

Skye studied his still-silent companion. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

“No need to,” came the reply. “Keep rowing.”



That's my favourite piece - hilarious in the understated characterisation somehow. ^_^

A few brief things:

Skye dropped the oars, whimpering in fear.


'In fear' rather redundant? It would be stronger sans that and only 'whimpering', I think.

“The question is not why I’m doing this, but why you choise to do what you did.


'Chose', yes?

Skye looked away. Finally, he met Saphirus’ steady cold gaze. He half-smiled and shrugged. “All for the good of my kingdom, right?”


Skye is flippant? Oy, he really ought to know better than to push Saphirus. ^_~ (No, that's no comment on the form/structure; just amuesement. ^_^)

. He looked up to the stars, now peeking out from behind the clouds. He began rowing back to the docks. His heart’s purpose fulfilled, he had nowhere left to go.


The final few sentences come out distinctly staccatto and sharp - same length, same structure. Perhaps if two were slid together, it would be smoother?


--


Anyhow, reiteration, but I loved it. ^_^ (Tov makes no comment. But he doesn't want Saphirus haunting him. ^_~)




IMP
ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem

"There is adventure in simply being among those we love, and among the things we love -- and beauty, too."
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Good eye, Imp. That's the last time I type up a hand-written piece... Anyway, glad you liked it. I'm making your changes as we speak. ^_^

(Saphirus has no problems with Tov at the moment, by the way. So he's safe for now.)
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Me like! Was there a prequel? Will you post any sequels?

Anyway good job!

:) :D




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Beautifully written, Crysi!

I love your characters and their reactions to each other. I enjoyed it immensely.

I thought your paragraphs were a little odd at times, and that some of the dialogue paragraphs for Skye could have been combined, but that is just my personal preference and nothing you did wrong.

He didn’t look away as Skye twitched against the cords, writhing in pain and the body’s reaction to death.


'the body's reactions to death' sounded a bit strange to me. I think using a dash instead of a comma there would make it a bit clearer.

Wonderful job, Crysi. ^_^
~ WD
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