The Angel

Simply fly from earth to sky.

Becasue it's not that wierd... or sad

Don't be harsh and don't please cry!

It's my way of die.

Hello Winie.

You know, poetry is made of verses, words like prose or speech, that need to connect to have a meaning. The first line somehow connected to the next; and the next to make a picture or a story.

You have lines here. But they don't really connect in any way so as to tell or show anything.

Go back to the idea of angels and think about what you want someone to see when they read this. Then put it back together. ^_^

It sounds as if it might work an interesting look at immortality or death or some such thing. Maybe your angel might symbolise some of that. But at the moment, you have flying...which might not be weird or sad - someone breaking in to say 'don't cry!' and then a comment about someone or no one's way to die.





IMP


EDIT: Oy, be careful not to re-post your work in different forums. ^_^ I'm going to delete the half-version of this in "Dramatic Poetry", yes? Then you'll just have this.

Its short, which is good.
Umm... I don't have alot to say except,

Shouldn't it be, 'Its my way to die?

Anyway...

~Pol