And this too shall pass away.

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I'm not sure where this belongs, so I'll just post it here.

The weather’s changed once more. It won’t be long until we’re all alive again, like we all always wished. All these endless days and restless nights spent with our ears to doors listening so intently for the breathless whispers of disembodied letterman.

12:00... 12:00... 12:00...

These sheets will be the death of me. I can already feel them clawing their way down my throat into the sanctuary of my resin lung walls. I count to ten and back, pairing identical numerals with the heave and collapse of my chest. The lower we search the deeper we find ourselves.

12:00... 12:00... 12:00...

Angry umbilical addicts force their way through narrow corridors decorated with pictures of memories and regrets and half speculated truths. A secret door in the shape of a giant pulsating retina leads the expedition into a maze of spiraling complexities and subjective third person revelations.

12:00... 12:00... 12:00...

The end is near he says. The end is here she says. Show me the beginning I beg. Because all I ever see is one big middle.

12:01
Last edited by BarrettBenedict on Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Is", "is." "is" — the idiocy of the word haunts me. If it were abolished, human thought might begin to make sense. I don't know what anything "is"; I only know how it seems to me at this moment. -Robert Anton Wilson




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First off, I'm not sure that this is a poem. It doesn't have the right structure and it's written like a story but integrates some poetic techniques... I'll let someone else debate the issue of where it goes though...

This piece is well written with good language and good grammar but I found the content hard to follow which is one reason I don't think it's really a story. I can't seem to grasp the meaning of this piece or what's even going on but maybe I'm looking too deep. Maybe it is just that life is endless and yet it's not because the time moved on in the end. I don't know...

I didn't find any spelling mistakes with this and your grammar is very good but on the last line it needs to be 'all I ever see is one big middle' rather than 'all I ever I see is one big middle.'
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.




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Oops. Thanks for pointing that little mistake out. Yeah, this would mainly fall under the category of poetic prose, but there is no real place to post prose here, only stories, and this isn't quite a story.
"Is", "is." "is" — the idiocy of the word haunts me. If it were abolished, human thought might begin to make sense. I don't know what anything "is"; I only know how it seems to me at this moment. -Robert Anton Wilson




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might I suggest 'Other'?

Believe it or not, there those who actually browse that section :)
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway



no i prefer gay chaos
— hop