(Monologue spoken directly to camera/audience)
Boy, 12 years old sat in a field, rucksack next to him, wearing jeans.
It started out as a walk. That’s all it was, another of my walks. Dad always said, ‘BOY, WHEN YOU START ACTING YOUR AGE, YOU WILL STOP THESE BLOODY WALKS!’ He always calls me Boy, I hate it. I want to shout at him! To tell him that I have a name. But it is no use, I would just be told off. ‘BOY, GET TO YOUR ROOM!’ It always seemed to me that he spoke in capitals. That’s all he ever did, shout.
Pause
I didn’t plan this, any of this. I didn’t think to myself, ‘This is what I am going to do.’ It just, happened. Look at me now, I don’t know where I am, my head is ringing, and I think it is going to rain. I used to like the rain; I used to play in it, when I was small. Then Dad started to lock me out as a punishment. I would be out there for an hour at least. Then Dad would lean out the window and say, ‘BOY, WHAT YOU DOING OUT THERE?’
I would just look at him. I hardly ever said anything to Dad, ‘COME BACK IN, IF YOUR NOT IN ‘ERE IN FIVE MINUTES…’ But I couldn’t get in. The door would still be locked. I was in trouble then.
Pause
My ears are still ringing. I can’t see anyone. No one for miles. No houses either, except for that cowshed over there. Must all be hidden by those trees? I don’t think I have been walking for very long, only a couple of hours. They’ll know I am gone now. I was late home from school once. I can still here Dad now, ‘BOY, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?’ I didn’t answer, I never did, it only made things worse. ‘BOY, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. NOW ANSWER IT!’ I was only ten minutes late, my teacher had kept me behind for a while to ask where I had got the bruises from. She used that voice which grown-ups use when they are trying to be nice to you but don’t know how. That high pitched, quiet, sighing voice. I should know, I have heard it often enough. I never got the chance to answer him. I woke up in bed, a day later. Mum told me that I had hit my head on the kitchen counter. There was a dull ringing in my ears. I went to the doctors that day on my own. The doctor used that voice again. ‘Do you have any idea how this happened?’ I began to reply, ‘Mum told me…’ she interrupted me. ‘I didn’t ask you what your Mum told you. I want to know what you think happened.’ I thought for a moment. I told her. ‘I was, about to tell Dad that my teacher had kept me behind for a while, when…’ I stopped. The doctor leaned forward slowly. ‘When what Lucien?’ I blinked at her. Who is Lucien? Then I realised she meant Me. Lucien was my name.
Pause
I think I just felt rain.
Pause
There it was again. Perhaps I should go into that cowshed. It looks dry enough.
Go black. Open under a tree. Raining hard.
Stupid farmers. They let the roof fall in and they didn’t bother to fix it. It was Dads dream to own a farm. Then when I brought it up, he suddenly decided he didn’t want one and he never had. ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY BOY? YOU WANT TO LIVE ON A FARM DO YOU?’ I looked down at my shoes. ‘YOU WANT TO LIVE ON A FARM?’ I still didn’t answer him. ‘FINE! YOU GO LIVE ON A FARM. GIVE YOUR MOTHER AND I SOME PEACE. WE NEVER WANTED YOU ANYWAY.’ I looked up. This time I was going to answer. I mumbled something under my breath hoping he wouldn’t notice. ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY BOY? ANSWER ME!’ It was then that I made the biggest mistake of my life. ‘I SAID YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FATHER! I DON’T KNOW WHO WOULD EVER WANT YOU TO BE THEIR DAD! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND YOUR SHOUTING!’ he looked at me stunned. The colour had drained from his face. I thought I had the upper hand. I got cocky. ‘AND I HAVE A NAME. IT’S LUCIEN YOU BASTARD!’
Pause
I woke up on the floor. I had a strange ringing in my ears. It was then that I decided to go for a walk. To clear my head of the ringing. I packed a sandwich, as usual, and I left the house.
Pause
It’s getting dark now. I am not scared though. Why should I be scared?
Pause
Wait, what was that?
Voice: ‘BOY! BOY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ?’
This is it. He’s coming. I have to hide!
Go Black. Open with Lucian up the tree.
It wasn’t him. It wasn’t anyone. Just my imagination. I am probably going mad. Ha! It’s so dark. I can’t see much. There is an orange glow behind those trees though. That could be my town. Or perhaps it’s my imagination again. I don’t know. I don’t know what is going on. Help! Somebody! What’s the use? No one is going to hear me. Do I want anyone to hear me? I don’t know. My ears are still ringing. I wish it would stop. Everything has gone a bit misty. All blurred. I don’t know why. Why am I here? What is going on? My head hurts.
Pause
I think I am going to be sick…
Pause
Everything is starting to spin…
Pause
What is the ground doing? It keeps spinning, round and round, and round. What am I doing? I can’t remember. I think I should get out of this thing before I fall out. What is it I am in? I can’t remember what it is called. Everything is really blurred, I can’t…. I can’t… Tree… In a tree…
He falls out of the tree, unconscious.
