This is sweet, really is, but doesn't make much of a poem.
First off, use real words and not thinks like 'ur' or 'U'. Capitalize the pronoun I, and spell check.
Though it was sweet, there was really nothing beyond that. This is more like a poem you write for your mom and give to her, but it isn't something you'd put in a book of poems to sell. Why? Because its a selfish poem, and the reader feels nothing. If you were to talk about mothers in general, and how sweet they are, and how every child wants to be like them, and did it in a noncliche way that also made the reader feel and think about there mother, it would work out better. (Of course, I hate my mother, so I wouldn't be best for that, would I? )
You repeated a lot in this too. "I think your beautiful", "I think you're great," it just didn't work as a poem. But I gave you my suggestions on how to fix it. Oh, and you should read poetry, as well. That will help you out a lot.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
Wow I thought this was like from a boyfriend to a girlfriend so it was great to see that it was about someone's mother. I loved this idea, as it was a change from the usual "beautiful" poem
I agree with Claudy when she says to use proper words and not text speak, but other than that I can't think of anything else.
Okay, I couldn't even read the poem because of the chatspeak and the fact that "your" was misused.
In the phrase, "You're beautiful", the your is NOT possessive, it is the contraction, "you are". If the poem was about "Your beautiful [fill in whatever here, like eyes, smile, penmanship, fingernail]", then it would work, but it isn't, so... EDIT! Please! Then I will read it and give a better critique.
And I would advise to go through your poem and check every place that you have a "your". If it can be successfully replaced as "you are", but you have a "your", then you need to fix it. (For instance, if you had "you know your hair is beautiful", then it would be possessive, and therefore correct. But if you had, "your beautiful, and you know it", then as the "your" can be replaced with a "you are", and so that should be changed. Make sense?)
I hope I didn't do too shoddy a job of explaining that.
What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! — William Shakespeare
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