Believe again

Ok first thing first - never apologise for something you've writen! Even if a half apologetic comment along the lines of 'I wrote this years ago...'. Be happy with it - you wrote it which is a good thing.

Other than that it's interesting to go over old pieces of work isn't it. Are you planning to do anything with it? I, for one, really enjjoyed it - it had some really original and quirky ideas that would be great to go back to with hindsight and improved writing (I'm sure now, you'll be able to describe "a wolf lion thing" in a geniastic and unique way, will make the prose flow a lot better and not mix up your tenses in some places).

It would be interesting to see what you wrote next, but like I said, more importantly - what are you going to do with it now?

-Anthas

This had some good ideas in it. The main thing I think you should do is go back over it and add to it. Then it could be a great story.

The interesting names are good, but you don't have to tell the reader that the family has unique names--the reader can tell that on their own. Maybe you could explain why they have such unusual names.

The arboretum is a good place for the adventure to start, but it was a little abrupt when Media began thinking about magic. There should be something there that reminds her of magic, rather than just her suddenly remembering. You could also put some really good description of the arboretum in there.

I like the wolf-lion-thing It sounds like an interesting creature. I'd like to know what happens to Media next.

It was difficult to get a general sense of what was going on. Many of the paragraphs have no transitions between them, making it jerky to read, instead of a smooth and continuous flow.

This is partly because you wanted to skip ahead to the interesting part, but that is cheating. If you want to skip ahead, you need to transition between the two events.

You can use all manner of things like "the trip to the dance was uneventful" to make time move along, without losing track of the events.

Hopefully, you plan on editing these before you post more?