To Whom This May Concern

To Who This May Concern

To whom this may concern,
It seems that people never learn.
Every time I turned my back,
I seemed to skid right off the track.

Dear you, sincerely me,
I’m so glad you finally see.
I’ve fought so hard, you've seen me fall,
You've picked me up and gave it all.

So many days passed in a blur,
They seemed to circulate around her.
You walked in and never gave up,
Gave me food and filled my cup.

Now I’ve got a hand to hold,
Given warmth when I am cold.
Now it’s seriously plain to see,
You really mean everything to me.

You've got a foundation here, and that's certainly something to work with.

The general idea of this is...cliche.

A lot of the lines are cliche as well.

If you were using them in original context, that'd be great.... but here? Not so much.

Also, you've got some tense issues going on here... Past or present? Pick and fix, if you would.

And please read it out loud. You've got too many syllables in some lines, and it seriously impedes the flow. It shouldn't be hard to catch and remedy.

I haven't written poetry in a while. I think that contributes a bit to my cliche-ness. -_-

And I always have a problem with swaying between past and present tenses.... I'm working on that. Thanks for the critique. <3

This poem adheres to a very basic rhyme scheme. I think rhyme schemes are very weak..but seeing as that is the structure you've chosen...I won't attack it to brutally. This poem has a very central, basic idea... there are some poetic archetypes in here... some images that are overused. The last stanza... I swear I might have seen it before, simply because the subject matter and the way you convey the emotion is so basic. Its like the example question in a standardized test...if you know what i mean?