A short-short story of mine

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1616
Reviews 194
A gunshot echoed through the lonely trees, summoning all the devils of the forest to its strange sound. A man appeared carrying his one-time prey over his shoulders as the sickly sweet smell of blood rose through the air. His long, confident stride belied the sweat dripping slowly down his face. A quiet noise rang through the forest, and he quickened his pace. His lodge came into view, and he smiled at the light shining from the window. A vile breath surrounded him as a massive jowl clamped over his torso.

The End!
Last edited by greenjay on Sun May 13, 2007 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 514
I don't think you need the last part. The noise receded into the depths...the story would actually do better without it!

-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 117
Great description. :o I don't really know if you're trying to start something or if its a paragraph though. :?
OREGONGIRL




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1616
Reviews 194
Just a paragraph. Something I had to do for English, though it would be an interested start to a longer story...




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 187
It's a very good paragraph...


...but it's just a paragraph.
ln(-a)=i(pi) + lna




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 20



I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon