Four of Breaking

I've finally decided to post this one.
The style's quite different from Ace of Threes, for those of you who read it, and the PoV is entirely different, but eh... hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway. Again, splits will be a bit weird.


Four of Breaking

Her face was reason for pause, if anything, and pause I did, just for a second. From the doorway I could see the ice-blue of her eyes under naturally long, dark eyelashes and arched brows, the mouth set in its usual frigid line, elegant cheek and jaw leading up to ears which always seemed to have a vaguely elfish-looking shape to them as they disappeared into her brown hair, which was today, as always, braided loosely with wisps of hair that forever managed to escape it and sweep down over the black silken headband she wore, to lightly touch against her cheek. The rest of her- slim, lithe, fluid muscle under suntanned skin- never really held my attention like it did for other guys. For me, it was her face, something I’d never really experienced before until I saw hers, on that first day in math class with her when I’d first learned her name and seen how everyone went silent and either stared at her or carefully looked away until the teacher had read the next name on the attendance list. I didn’t know why then; guess I do now, and I’m not really sure what to think of it, since it’s so… out there. I don’t know if it’s true or not, even, but today I’d decided to find out.

Carrying my books under one arm, I left the doorway and strode across the room to where she sat, across from my seat, and plunked my books down on the desk with a thump.

“So, Kath,” I said, getting her attention with a grin as I sat down, “They tell me you’ve killed someone.”

Her icy gaze was now leveled on me, and I cocked my head to the side, waiting.

“What’s your point?” she said finally, in a stiff voice.

“Well?” I persisted. “Is it true or not?”

“Dude,” the kid next to me said in my ear, glancing at her, “She’s gonna kill you.”

“Aw, she wouldn’t do that,” I said, smiling disarmingly at her. “She’s too sweet-hearted to kill anybody; just look at her!”

“I’m looking, and she’s gonna kill you,” the kid retorted.

Her eyebrow was raised delicately at me. “Do I look sweet to you?” she asked dryly, ignoring the other boy.

“Nope,” I admitted cheerfully, “But I thought I’d try it anyway. So, is it true or not?”

Silence fell as I waited for the answer.

“It was in self defense; if you want the whole story find the newspaper website and look up the article,” she said shortly, breaking eye contact with me to go back to her homework.

Somehow, I sensed the end of the conversation, and leaned back in my chair to stare thoughtfully up at the ceiling, jamming my hands into my pockets. So it was true; that followed that the other rumor was probably true too, that some chick who was the guy’s ex had come after her drunk and tried to kill her not that long ago. Apparently the girl ended up with a broken wrist when she tried to attack Kath and Kath had blocked her with the dull edge of her dad’s sword. At least, that’s the only part that seemed fairly consistent in most of the versions of that story that’d been told to me, that and that the police had shown up shortly thereafter and taken the girl.

“Soooo…” I said, glancing down at her, “Why’d you do it?”

“Read the article, Taj,” she answered coldly, not taking her eyes off the paper as her pencil moved quickly and efficiently over its surface.

I shrugged. “Alright, fine. Don’t talk to me. I won’t be insulted.”

“Oh good,” she answered readily, eyes scanning her final answer.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d have sworn I saw the corner of her lips twitch upward. I stared at her, surprised; surely she hadn’t….

Whatever my thought was drifted away as I stared at her again, at the soft head of gleaming hair bent toward her work, downcast eyelashes softly brushing her cheeks as she blinked, and I had the insane urge to spout out the melodramatic nonsense that she’d never have to fight again because I wouldn’t let anyone near her anymore, that no one would ever leave such a terrible mark upon her flesh again, not so long as I drew breath.

I swallowed the impulse and gave myself a mental shake, looking down at my own unfinished assignment.

Most girls would have looked up or something if someone had stared at them for that long, I thought resentfully. But no, Katherine Devon was not most girls. Most girls wouldn’t have done what she did in that situation. Most girls couldn’t.

Before I knew it, and long before I had finished my homework assignment, the bell rang the end of class and Kath was gone. I looked around quickly, catching the tail end of her braid as it disappeared around the doorframe, and cursed under my breath.

“Hey man,” one of the other kids said to me, a football player whose seat was behind me, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah,” his friend chimed in with a crooked grin. “We’ve all been there. You’ll get over it.”

“Only time she ever even called me by my name was when she was calling attendance at track practice,” the kid who sat next to him muttered as he filed out the door with the rest of them.

I glanced up, and a slow grin spread across my face. Ah, but she called me by my name, I thought back at him, and picked up my books with a decidedly more cheerful air.

Running out of the class with books under arm, I caught up to her just before she reached the double doors leading to the cafeteria.

“Wait!” I called.

She glanced at me, hand outstretched, but I beat her to it and opened the door for her with a flourishing bow which sent my unruly brown hair flying into my face. I blew it out of the way and grinned at her again.

She lowered her hand and nodded thanks, walking past into the cafeteria.


______

ick... what a shiz place to end, but it's the best I can get without making it way too long.
Anyway, crits appreciated, as usual!


~sworddance

Yay! A sequel! This answered some questions, but I'd still love more. Sorry, I just always want more. But yeah, this was interesting.

Ack, sorry, I almost forgot again. Here's the next part, just for you, chocoholic


Continuing to hold the door, I leaned against its frame and watched her go, angling my head to see through the crowds between us. She walked to where two of her friends were standing, setting her books down on the bench beside them, and as I watched with sheer disbelief her face completely transformed, split by a broad smile which lit her whole face all the way into eyes that sparked with laughter as her blonde friend talked away at her.

I was still scratching my head in puzzlement when I wandered over to where my friends were, gathered around a table across the cafeteria.

“Hey Taj,” Max greeted me. “What’s up?”

I sat down, spreading my work out. “Math homework.”

“Don’t look at me,” he said, holding his hands up to ward me off.

“Last time I asked you for help in math was seventh grade,” I retorted, “And I got an F on the paper the following day. I’ll ask someone else, thanks.”

“Math again?” Matt said interestedly, looking over my shoulder. “Why don’t you ever finish that in class?”

“Lotsa distractions in that class,” Max answered him, winking at me and ducking to avoid the swipe at his head from my hand.

Matt shrugged. “Been there, done that. Maybe I can help you?”

I snorted. “You aren’t in this class, man. Tell you what, when you learn enough to tell me the derivative of x squared without thinking about it, you can help me out.”

He gave me a blank look, then laughed. “Forgot you were in calculus. What’s a derivative?”

I banged my head against the table, giving up. “Never mind. I’ll get help from someone in my class later.”

“Or, you could go ask your distraction, over there,” Max said mischievously, glancing behind himself.

I sat up, looking over, and slowly grinned. “Perhaps I shall.” I stood up, closing my book with a snap.

“I was just joking,” Max protested as I walked off. “Dude, she’ll kill you!”

I ignored him and crossed the cafeteria to where she stood with those two friends; her back was to me, but the other two saw me approaching and went silent, looking at me with mistrust.

Geez, I thought, tapping her on the shoulder. She turned sharply, and I smiled disarmingly at all of them. “What’s up, Kath? Can you help me out with the homework?”

“You know him?” The blonde one asked in a low voice.

She sighed. “Yeah.”

“Introduce me?” I asked, looking down at the other two.

“Silana and Vivian,” she said, indicating first the blonde then the brunette. “Sil, Vivi, this is Taj.”

“Tajrik,” I said, supplying her with my full name.

She looked surprised. “As in…?”

“Yep, the book. My mom loved that book,” I said, oddly pleased that she recognized the reference.

“Book?” Vivi asked, puzzled.

“Yep,” I said again, seating myself on the back of the bench beside them and smiling sweetly at her. “I’m a handsome prince, actually.”

“And a pain in the ass, if I remember correctly,” Kath muttered.

“A little,” I admitted. “But hey, I got better. Quite charming at the end of the first book, I think, and a perfect prince in the rest of them. Speaking of books…” I waggled my math book at her. “Can you help me out or not?”

“You could have done your work in class instead of pestering me,” she said, but sat down next to me anyway with a resigned look on her face. “What do you need?”

“This one,” I said, pointing.

She looked, and her eyebrows shot up when she saw what I’d done so far. “What did you do?” she asked.

“Um,” I said. “Good question. That’s why I need help. What do you suggest?”

“Burn it?” she said dryly.

I shrugged. “No problem. Yo, Ti!” I called. “Got a lighter?”

The kid standing next to him with the red mohawk turned and gave me a dirty look, but Ti shrugged and reached into one of the many pockets in his black pants and tossed one at me.

“Thanks!”

I winked at Kath and held it to my paper, flicking at the catch, but she snatched it away from me and tossed it back at Ti, hissing, “Are you stupid?”

“Well, you said-”

Vivi and Sil were cracking up laughing, however, and Kath’s face split into a grin at the sight of the innocence on my face.

“Alright, it was funny,” she admitted, and reached into her pocket to hand me an eraser. “Just erase it up to here,” she said, pointing. “And try not to get those guys in trouble again, alright? If they catch Ti with that he’s sunk.”

“Got it. He’s one of the fastest kids on the track team, anyway,” I observed, bending to my work, “So I think he just carries it for image.”

“Perhaps,” she said shortly. “Get erasing.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Yay! This chapter was just for me! No one else read it, it's just for me!

Anyway, this was really good. I love how she's different with her friends and 'randoms'. I think it's very common, but I've never seen it very well portrayed in many books. Congratulations!
I'm find this plot very interesting and I'm intriuged. Please update this. Your writing style is engaging and very real. Now please hurry up with the next bit before I kill myself waiting!

CRIT FOR FIRST PART!

From the doorway I could see the ice-blue of her eyes under naturally long, dark eyelashes and arched brows, the mouth set in its usual frigid line, elegant cheek and jaw leading up to ears which always seemed to have a vaguely elfish-looking shape to them as they disappeared into her brown hair, which was today, as always, braided loosely with wisps of hair that forever managed to escape it and sweep down over the black silken headband she wore, to lightly touch against her cheek

Wow. That's got to be the longest sentence in sentence history. Impressive almost. Please try breaking it down into bite sized peices. Not many people can swallow the whole cow at once =D

This was really good actually. I like it better than the first one...which is weird, becuase sequals usually dissapoint. Your's didn't! Awesome eh? So anyways, good job, keep it up! I'll be back later for the next part, this is really good.
-JC

Rofl dang it! me and my long sentences!
I'll have you know, however, that I once found a sentence that was over a page in length, with exact grammatical correctness and not a single error- and no, I did not write it. But I loved it.

But thanks to both of you for critting Glad to hear my sequel didn't disappoint, JC. I agree with you, sequels often do, so thanks so much for saying mine didn't

Alright, chocoholic... I shall post the next section. I see I actually have to finish this story after all, and here I was going all lazy on it!

Here you go...




I caught up with her again before track practice the next day, spying her as she got into the storage room where the track equipment was kept. Glancing around, I decided there was nothing I should be doing and headed over there, stopping before the open door of the storage to find out what she was doing.

Vivi was there too, talking to her as she bent to get into the bottom shelf of the cabinet.

“What do you think he wants?” Vivi was saying in a low voice, watching her pull out a set of uniforms.

“I don’t know,” Kath answered softly. “I know what most of them want, but he…”

“Not so sure?”

“Not at all. Hand me a bag, will you?” She took it as it was handed to her and began putting in the uniforms she had just pulled off the shelf.

“He’s cute, though.”

“Vivi…” Kath growled warningly.

She shrugged. “Just saying.”

I leaned against the wall outside the room, turning away from them. Who were they talking about? Some guy?

I’m not sure why that made me angry, but it did. Something about Kath discussing some guy in that way with her friend rubbed me the wrong way.

Glancing in again, I watched as she reached up with her left hand toward the top of the cabinet, where the other boxes containing the rest of the equipment bags were stacked out of her reach. She lowered her hand and looked around at the mess surrounding her, probably for something to stand on, so I decided on the spur of the moment to help her out.

“Incoming!” I called, charging up behind her and scooping an arm around her knees, thrusting my shoulder beneath the back of her legs and lifting her high into the air on my shoulder.

To her credit, she neither shrieked- like Vivi did- nor lost her balance; she just went rigid, and slowly looked down.

“Taj,” she growled.

I grinned up at her. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights.”

“I’ll get you for this, Taj.”

“A simple thank you will suffice.” I nudged her feet with the hand that supported them. “What did you need up there?”

Slowly, she relaxed, as though giving up again, reaching forward to retrieve her boxes and hand them down to Vivi. Just as I was about to put her down, a fourth voice cut across the room.

“And what’s going on here?”

I turned with Kath still on my shoulder to see Shane Dodge, one of the football guys (a runningback, if I remembered correctly), watching us with a distinctly annoyed expression.

Please tell me that’s not who you were talking about, I thought with distaste. I know what he wants.

To my relief, it was evident that Kath did too, for she said coldly, “Assistance, Dodge, which is more than any of us get usually. Can I help you?”

I knelt to set her down, eying the newcomer as I did so.

He shrugged. “No, not really. Just passing by.”

I swallowed a growl. His gaze was anywhere but on her face, and it was definitely rubbing me the wrong way again.

“Well, then,” Kath said, striding over to the door, “You may go. I have work to do.”

“Sure.” He stayed where he was, eyes glued on her, until she had crossed all the way to where he stood, inches from his arrogant face.

I didn’t hear whatever it was he started to say, but it was cut off when Kath reached out and closed the door in his face, clicking the lock into place before he could stop her.

Kath turned around slowly, sharp eyes on Vivi. “I don’t suppose you think he’s cute too?”

Vivi looked at the door with a disgruntled expression on her face. “He might think so.”

Then Kath’s eyes were on me, and I put up my hands defensively. “Hey,” I protested. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Next time,” she said, “Just give me a foot up or something.”

“Foot up. Got it,” I said irrepressibly. “My way was just more entertaining.”

______

Just so you guys know, there's really something about this one that bothers me. Overall, there are a lot of things that feel too contrived. Any suggestions?
thanks so much

~sworddance

So this chapter wasn't just for me. Aw... I'm sad now. But It was great. There's no way you're not finishing this story! I want it completed or you will DIE!!! Well, maybe not die, but I'll get really really angry.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. Each of your chapters are so different. I liked it how Sil wasn't in this one. Vivi is a great character, I reckon you could do so much with a character like that.

I reckon you should try writing a chapter in another POV. Could be interesting, But... it's your story. Do with it what you wish (just don't make it go all bad, or I'll lose total respect for you as an author).

Its really good, I like how obvoius you make it that this guy is totally in love with Kath. You might want to shorten the first paragraph to not scare away readers. Keep up the good work!



~Pol

Its really good, I like how obvoius you make it that this guy is totally in love with Kath. You might want to shorten the first paragraph to not scare away readers. Keep up the good work!



~Pol

I really like this! A great sequel to the previous one. It's like a completely different story, with a couple of the same great characters. It's much lighter, much different, but really good!

PSSSST!!! YOU SHOULD FINISH IT!!!!!! SOOON!!!! *subtle hint*

Yours always I remain,

Crit for Two:

split by a broad smile which lit her whole face all the way into eyes which sparked with laughter as her blonde friend talked away at her.

You said "which" twice in here. Try changing it to something like, "which lit her whole face all the way into her eyes, sparkling with laughter..." Or something like that. Basically, take out one of the whitches...witches =D hehe. Sorry, I couldn't resist. =D

I liked this chapter, how Kath and Taj are almost able to joke with each other. I like how he see's through what everybody else says as well =D this was awesome.
I'll be back for part three later today...I have to get ready for church...=(

Keep up the good work!
-JC

CRIT FOR THREE

Yay, I finally get to finish this =D

Okay, so, the third...instalation...I guess would be the word. It was good, I love the relationship between Taj and Kath and how it's escalating. It's very good. I don't know what you meant about it bothering you, it seemed fine to me. But if I think of anything I'll be sure to let you know =D

Good job!
-JC

Hey, thanks for the reviews everybody
And JC, you're definitely right about that "which (witch!)" thing; the second 'which' shall most likely be changed to a 'that', or I may go w/ what you said. I'll go back and stare at it for a little while.
Anyway, here's the next section.




When I walked into the athletic trainer’s room the following day I found her there already, holding her clipboard in her left arm, as the other was held stiffly at her side. I paused in the doorway, wondering whether approaching was a good idea. She and the trainer were the only ones inside; her jacket was off, lying on the table next to her, and the white scar which ran across her tan shoulder was visible even from here.

“Do you have anything for this?” she was asking the trainer in a soft voice. “I know I’m not an athlete, but it’s been bothering me so much recently that I just need to do something about it.”

The trainer reached up into her cabinets and deposited a bottle of ointment in her outstretched hand, saying, “Managers are first on my list, Kath, you know that. Is the muscle sore, or just the scar?”

“Both,” Kath admitted with a rueful smile in thanks. “The scar itches and pulls and the muscle is so stiff that it hurts to move it.”

“Then I’ll give you some flex-all, and we’ll see if that helps any,” the trainer said, and pulled out another bottle. “Rub it in hard. It’ll hurt, but it’ll help in the end. Can I help you, Mr. Taj?” she called, addressing me.

I raised my eyebrows. “What, me? I just want some ice; my back’s hurting again. Maybe shin tape later.” I wandered inside, winking at Kath in greeting, but she didn’t look at me. She kept her head down, squeezing out some of the flex-all onto the tip of her fingers. I tried again. “How goes it, Kath?”

She shrugged with her left shoulder. “Alright,” she murmured. I glanced at her exposed shoulder and the scar which marred it, then at the liquid on her hand, understanding. She wasn’t going to show weakness while anyone else was in the room, so I sauntered over to the ice cooler and filled a bag, then stood in the doorway with my back to her.

I heard her as she moved slowly to apply it, suppressing a gasp of pain as she worked. Grinding my teeth together to stop myself from speaking, I tried to focus on what was going on in the gym outside the training room.

“Did you see Vivi out there?” came the quiet voice behind me.

“Yes, actually,” I answered. “She was headed this way a little while ago, and- hey, there she is now.”

“What?” she said, sounding dismayed. I heard it as she stood up quickly, grabbing her jacket and clipboard with another suppressed cry, and I turned on my heel to stare at her, amazed. What was going on now?

Then I realized, looking at the expression on her face; if Vivi saw that the scars still gave her pain, it would be a reminder of what had happened and it would hurt her little brunette friend. Guilt trip all over again, on both sides.

“Whoa,” I said gently, taking her clipboard out of her hands as she tried to leave and setting it back down on the padded training table. “Relax, Kath. Take care of yourself; I’ll go head her off.”

She slowly sat down again, dropping her jacket and looking up at me with eyes that for once were not cold or sharp, but momentarily disarmed and anxious.

I smiled at her reassuringly and headed out of the room, dropping my bag of ice on the other table as I went.

“Vivi,” I greeted her, blocking her path. She looked up at me curiously, stopping.

“Hey… Taj, right?” she said.

“That’s right. Listen, some of the guys were headed back to the storage room for uniforms they haven’t picked up from you guys yet, so do you think you could go get those for them? I saw Coach a while back; he should have keys.” That was true, actually. They had wanted uniforms, and I had seen Coach.

She looked surprised. “Oh! Yes, I can take care of that. Kath’s usually the one who does, but I haven’t seen her yet, so I’ll go ahead and do it. She has the clipboard with the inventory chart, though,” she said, frowning.

“Ah, she left that it the trainer’s room,” I said. “I’ll get it for you, if you go find Coach.”

“Thanks,” she said brightly. “I’ll meet you over there.” She smiled and turned away, walking quickly out of the gym.

I smiled and went back to the trainer’s room, poking my head inside. “She needs your clipboard, Kath,” I said. “Mind if I take it to her?”

“Go ahead.”

I took it and went in search of Vivi, catching up with her before she even made it out of the gym and handing it to her with a smile. She thanked me and went off to find the Coach again, so I returned to the trainer’s room once more and entered to pick up my bag of ice, glancing down at Kath where she sat on the table.

“Thank you, Taj,” she said quietly, and I looked down to find her eyes on me again. “Thank you,” she repeated, “so much.”

I shrugged it off, lying down on my stomach on the other table and throwing the ice on my back. “It was nothing, Kath,” I said, settling down. “Any time.”

The trainer’s pencil scratched steadily across the forms she was filling out; I watched with hooded eyes as Kath tried to work the balm into her shoulder, but pain was causing her to be unable to do it properly, no matter how hard she tried not to let it show. My admiration for the girl grew every moment that passed by, but I couldn’t let her keep torturing herself.

“Kath,” I said, rising and casting the ice to the side, “Let me help you.”

“I don’t need-” She interrupted herself with a hiss of pain when I pushed her hand to the side and began working the stuff in myself, pausing briefly to accept a rubber glove from the trainer before continuing.

“He knows what he’s doing, Kath; you better let him do it,” the trainer informed her wryly.

She turned her face away from me, biting down her pain in silence. “Thank you,” she said finally, refusing to look at me as I worked.

“No problem,” I said quietly. “Any time.”

Glancing at her downcast face from lowered eyes, I felt another surge of strange feeling for this girl. No doubt she had faced something far beyond what I had ever known, a suffering that was both mental and physical pain, something that caused her to be so closed off from anyone but her closest friends.

The silence stretched on awkwardly, until finally I asked, “Kath, not to pry or anything, but why is the muscle here so stiff?”

Her gaze slid over to it, as though contemplating answering, and she said, “It cut deep through muscle, Taj, and dragged, and twisted… and stuck.”

I traced the scar with a finger, causing her to twitch away from my touch.

“Sorry,” I apologized hastily, mentally kicking myself. That was stupid. “So,” I said quickly, handing her the other bottle as she reached for it, “Did it not heal all the way?”

She poured out the scar tissue ointment into the palm of her left hand. “It kinda did, but it’s always been weak and the scar always pulls. Then when the other girl- Jessica- came, I had the dog in one hand, had to use the sword with my right hand, and not being used to the weight it pulled it or something again, so now it kinda hurts a lot more than it did after it had healed.”

“Maybe you tore it further,” I suggested, sitting back with a sigh to replace the ice on my back. “Along where the cut was?”

“Maybe.”

An unusual silence filled the room, causing me to look around. The athletic trainer had left, and the magnet on her cabinet which said she was in the teacher’s lounge had disappeared, presumably to take its place on the door while she went to check her inbox. I hadn’t noticed her leave.

“She often leaves me here in charge,” Kath said, by way of explanation when she noticed me looking around.

I lay down on my stomach, crossing my arms under my head. “Yeah?” I said lazily. “That cause you’re a manager?”

“Probably.”

“Can you turn the clock to face me?” I asked, nodding toward it. “I gotta ice for twenty minutes.”

She reached out and turned it so I could see the digital numbers on the screen; I had about half an hour before I had to be out for practice, and twenty minutes to ice. I had plenty of time.

Kath glanced at the clock too, and grimaced. “Here comes the flood,” she observed, settling back onto the table with a resigned look on her face.

Sure enough, hardly had the words left her mouth when people on the track team began to pile through the doors into the small room, protesting with loud cries when they discovered the lack of the trainer’s presence. Some wandered off; others stuck around, filling the room with seven or eight more chattering bodies sitting on the tables or in the various chairs, most waiting for a tape job on their ankles, arches, shins, knees, any other joint you can think of.

I caught sight of Kath beyond them and winked. “So much for getting my shins taped,” I called across to her.

She smiled slightly and rose, flicking her jacket further over the scar on her shoulder. Pausing by me as she headed out the door, she looked down, laying a hand on the top of my head briefly. “Thanks again, Taj,” she said softly. “If it gets too crazy in here, come find me and I’ll tape you.”

It was all I could do to look back up at her and nod; watching her walk out, I smiled to myself slightly, thinking amusedly, she can even tape? I don’t know how many times I’ve gone without because there was no trainer around, and ached insanely for the next two days.

I’d swear I’m in love with that girl.

_________

Ack, this has almost caught up with me! *Must type faster, must type faster...*

~sworddance

Hey! Another great chapter. I'm still a little confused about what this guy did to Vivi? Mind explaining?
Otherwise I loved it. I get what you mean about the taping b/c I have really bad ankles and sometimes when I go to the physio he tapes them up. Strange, but it works.
Well, yeah. I'm hoping for another one soon!

I really like it. The way you balance dialogue and description works well and the characters are definately interesting. Maybe you should make the first paragraph a little different though, some readers could lose interest. Good job!