Waiting For You

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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 3
Always and forever, you promised I'd be yours
Complete and whole again is how I'd thought I'd feel
Our hearts promised us a life together, a happy ever after
Promised we were in love and that's where we'd always be
Look at us now, we're nowhere near a happy ending

I hear your footsteps in the hallway, I hear your voice at night
It's slwoly driving me insane, and I just can't help but wonder
If at any time at all, do I ever cross your mind?
Can you feel me reaching out to you? Calling out your name?
Do you hear me crying late at night, and wonder if I'm okay?

I miss you more than anything, I miss your love, your smile, your laugh
The way we always found a way to make each other smile
How we were always so very deep in love, we never wanted to get out
We held each other close at night, your warmth was all I needed
I miss laying in your arms for hours, and not wanting to move
Hearing you say you love me always, for forever and a day

Now as I look back at what we used to be
I wonder where I went so wrong, what did I do?
Why did you say goodbye?
I feel as though it's all my fault, and I don't think things will change
My chance with you is down the drain, and why I have no clue
But I just can't but wonder if you miss me just the same

It hurts so bad, being without you, that I can't sleep at night
I cry all night, and sometimes all day
Wondering what tomorrow will bring, what I could do to make things better?
Is there something I need to change about me?
Something I should have done differently?
Is there a reason why you don't want me, to spend our lives together?
And I'm missing you now more than ever before
Wondering if you think of me
I don't want our love to go away, I don't want our love to fade

So I'll wait a while and hope for the best, that you'll come back to me
I won't pressure you, I won't say a word
I'll just sit here and wait
Even if it takes a hundred years, a thousand lifetimes from now
I'll still be right here in my room
I'll still be waiting just for you
What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, wisdom comes with age and with wisdom comes great responsiblity and maturity.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
Always and forever, you promised I'd be yours

The opening line is a little cliché, i mean for an opening sentence you should really grab the attention of the reader, maybe change this to something that people haven't heard before.


It's slwoly

Slowly

Im sorry to say that once i got to this end of this i was a bit glad it was over. It was all a little bit repetative and I just didn't feel really anything from that. this is a subject that has been covered many times and I just don't think you have made it original atall, using things such as:
Hearing you say you love me always, for forever and a day

It's all just a little bit meh. I mean, you could turn this around if you really look at it and well, make it original. I think you have taqlent, that's obvious but this is definatly not your best im afraid :(

Good luck!

Meevs
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