Simple Joys

Simple Joys


Laugh at every moment,
Find the joy in every day,
Love the endless mystery,
That guides us on our way.

Cry for joy when morning comes,
Smile at the sun,
Wink at every bright, bright star,
Find friends in every one.

We all are on a journey,
To laugh and love and care,
We will find our destiny,
When we are finally there.

It's a very nice, happy poem.

Your irregular rhyme scheme makes your poem flow better and makes it very enjoyable to read. Not much I can suggest about the poem, nice to see something happy around here.

To laugh and love and care,
We will find our destiny,
When we are finally there.

That end line doesn't work for me - as a suggestion, "When we finally get there". At the moment it's a bit awkwardly phrased.

Lovely poem.

Thanks!
I think part of the problem with that line is more if you read it "When we are fin-a-lly there" with finally having three syllables (which it does!) I would like finally to be read more like fine-lly, sort of skipping the a. It was just hard to find something that fit, but I don't think the syllables were what you were pointing out. I think you may be looking more at meaning, if I'm not mistaken. That doesn't bother me so much, but I guess I don't understand the difference between "When we finally get there" and "When we are finally there". And the pattern shouldn't be any worse than what I have already, but there's something about how "When we finally get there" that doesn't quite fit, but that's just me. I'm not sure what I'm sensing! Tell me if that was a horrible misinterpretation! I really appreciate your comments and encouragement!

When we are finally there, to me, doesn't seem like an ending it sets up for more. It sort of leaves the poem incomplete (to me)

When we finally get there, I thought would be a good way to finish it and add finality.

I really liked this. It suited it to be short. It's the sort of poem that would brighten up your day, which is a rare form of poetry these days!!!!

Great work,
Alainna
xxxxxx

Thanks! Most of my poetry isn't all that negative. In my mind, poetry is meant to express feelings, tell stories, etc. To me it doesn't make sense to make all your poetry so downtrodden, even if that's how you feel. I write my poetry not just to express, but to inspire as well, even if I'm only inspiring myself.

Oh, and I'll think about the last line. I'm just not sure yet.