resonation

(dream of spanish prima donnas―the scent of lilacs)
tracing silk silhouettes with trembling finger tips
maybe in another life everything was still all right

it was raining today and it can't seem to stop
like amphetamine on a sunday morning―like
late september slipping through the pavement cracks

implosion―
& she goes boom

interesting but vague maybe too vague

too vague, but you have to potentional in there but you didnt get your point across at all.
wu

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I like it. I like all of this website. But this was awesome.

IT's very pretty and I liked the sound but I don't think I understood it. The dream sentence at the beggining was particularily pretty '(dream of spanish prima donnas―the scent of lilacs) '. Anyway I liked it even if I didn't understand it.

This poem was very much an experiment. My try at objective correlative. From the replies, I don't think it turned out as well as I would have liked.

This poem wasn't suppose to be coherent in a sense that it makes a palpable image or thought in the reader's mind. The words, however vague, are fragmented to achieve the state of mind of the protagonist--the she at the end of the poem. In turn, the confusion, the chaos, the utter tragedy of the protagonist is supposed to make the reader feel the same emotions as the protagonist; the feeling of being perplexed and hurt by the world but at the same time mystified by its beauty.

I hope that made sense!

Okay first of all I do like it.

haina wrote:(dream of spanish prima donnas―the scent of lilacs)
tracing silk silhouettes with trembling finger tips
maybe in another life everything was still all right

There are some mistakes that need to be fixed.
First, every sentence needs punctuated and the first word capitalized.
For another, it should say everything is still alright, not "everything was still all right."

it was raining today and it can't seem to stop
like amphetamine on a sunday morning―like
late september slipping through the pavement cracks

implosion―
& she goes boom

On this part there wasn't much wrong except punctuation and capitalization.
Where you said "Implosion & she goes boom", your words need to be fully written out.
Put it Implosion and she goes boom.
Definitely edit.
Keep up the good work though!