POD 6 squared- Over Pizza

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:!: PG-13 for slight language and topic of discussion. Oh, and squared doesn't mean repeated, or anything like that, it means that this chapter is told from the same view as the previous one :!:

Chapter 7-Over Pizza

They split the cost for a medium pizza, with as many good toppings that they could think of. Half of it was pineapple, Canadian bacon, and extra cheese while the other half was bell peppers (in all colors), pepperoni, and sausage. They also ordered a two liter Dr. Pepper and bread sticks. Yay for getting fat!

It was a forty minute wait for the pizza, so they finished watching Ever After, Amber trying to throw in the occasional question, which Jamie never answered.

The doorbell rang at nine, just as the credits began their appearance.

Amber answered the door while Jamie searched the television for something good to watch.

“Hey, Amber have you ever seen Scrubs?” Jamie called into the hall.

The front door shut, and a second later Amber walked into the room with her arms full of food.

“Yeah, I love that show,” she answered peeking her head around the bottle of soda. Jamie stood to help take whatever Amber would let her, basically the soda.

Amber set the food down on the table and plopped back onto the couch, on the screen music was playing, while people sported in blue, green, and pink scrubs passed around x-rays.

“So,” Amber said, taking her first slice of pizza, pineapple and Canadian bacon, without needing a plate. “What brings you here at this time of the night?” she asked.

“Stupid family stuff,” Jamie answered, filling her mouth with bell pepper and pepperoni smothered in cheese.

“What's her name, wife number four, came today huh?” Amber guessed.

“What was your first clue?” Jamie half-joked.

“You told us a few weeks ago that your dad would be home today, I just remembered.”

“I didn't, it was a complete surprise,” Jamie said, “I was just sitting, watching TV, and he busted in, with matching luggage. God, gag me with a spoon why don't you!”

Amber laughed, almost choking on a pineapple.

“What?” Jamie asked, falsely defensive.

“Gag me with a spoon? Who says that anymore!” Amber laughed again, this time without the pizza.

“Oh, this from the girl who says 'right on'!”

“Right on is awesome,” Amber said.

“Well, gag me with a spoon was accurate.”

“Fine then, you can gag yourself with whatever silverware you want,” Amber said.

“Thank you,” Jamie laughed and took another bite.

“Back to your dad,” Amber began.

“Oh fun time then,” Jamie said sarcastically.

“What happened?”

“He just came in, and introduced her-”

Amber gasped, “Bastard!” she said loudly.

“ha-ha, really funny. Can I finish?”

Amber put her fingers to her lips, moving them from one side to the other, like zipping them together.

“Anyways, he wanted me to say something to her, he said it so condescendingly too! So I said the first thing that came to mind.”

“Which was...” Amber prodded.

“Two months,” Jamie said with a sly smile.

“No! Jamie you did not say that!” Amber burst into laughter.

“I did,” Jamie felt the blood rise to her cheeks.

“Wow, I can only imagine what his reaction to that was,” Amber said.

“He tried grounding me.”

“And let me guess, you took on your, don't-take-no-shit-from-anyone attitude and he kicked your ass.”

Jamie froze, “No,” she said, “he would never hit me,” she said seriously.

“I didn't mean it like that,” Amber said, drawing back her smile a bit.

“He wouldn't. Ever. He's not like that. He wouldn't ever hit me or mom.”

“I get it Jamie,” Amber tried to reassure her friend, but she was already to far gone.

“I mean, he loves us right? That's why he doesn't leave. He stays with us because he knows mom cant afford to hold up the house.” Jamie said, “People don't hurt the people they love. Right?”

“Well,” Amber said, concern tainting her voice, “sometimes they do.”

“My dad isn't like that,” Jamie said.

“No, he isn't,” Amber reassured.

“Then why does he do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why does he punish us?”
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




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They also ordered a two liter Dr. Pepper and bread sticks. Yay for getting fat!


Yay for getting fat, while apt doesn't really fit in with the narrators character. Seems much too cheerful and lighthearted.

The doorbell rang at nine, just as the credits began their appearance.


I think made would fit in better than began.

“Hey, Amber have you ever seen Scrubs?” Jamie called into the hall.


I love that show. :)

God, gag me with a spoon why don't you!”


Original - I have never heard that before.

“Anyways, he wanted me to say something to her, he said it so condescendingly too! So I said the first thing that came to mind.”


Condecendingly, to me, doesn't seem the sort of word that Jamie would use when speaking - when righting, yes, but not when talking. Doesn't fit the teen persona.

You really build your character well, the way she goes a bit hysterical at the end is just another insight into her and what she thinks of whats happening.

I liked the ending sentences, they wrapped up the chapter well and mirrored the previous one.
Sing we for joy and idleness,
Naught else is worth the having. -- Ezra Pound

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hehe, yeah, scrubs is pretty a-freaking-mazing aint it???

And thank you! For all your comments and such!!!!
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




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Yay for getting fat!

I agree with Mad on this bit, it really dosen't seem what Jamie would say.

Other than that, this was another great part, its getting really good now and I feel like you are developing your characters really well.

Meevs
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I love Scrubs too!!!! Catchy title music as well......

ANYWAYS, another great piece. There's not much I can say as the other two have pointed out the mistakes and other than those few it was a perfect piece. I really like the fact that Jamie freaked out a bit when Amber starts talking about her father.

Alainna
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I loved this, very much. I really have no critiques on it, just compliments.

You captured teenage party nicely, and how general discussion and joking turns to a serious conversation with a friend. Your story is seriously sucking me in ^_^ Nice job, dahl.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo



That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo - and it's worth fighting for.
— Samwise Gamgee