Young Writers Society

i like it!

I like this. It flowed along quite nicely and it has that little beat in it. I especially liked the last verse, it's so ownage lol.

The problems would probably the repetition you used in the piece, it does get boring starting a new verse with the same starting word in each line. I think you could vary the structure of the first two verses (keep the third one, it rocked) to allow a more diverse emotion of your character.

Overall, it was good.

What I said in the subject.

its pretty epic

shot bo

It's a nice song. It's like a song from an anime like Naruto. This would sound good in a band.

Bridge 1:
I don't know what you've been told
Let me set the record straight
I don't fight for good or gold
I fight 'cause it's my fate

Chorus:
Fire, spread across the land
Fire, held inside my hand
Fire, bringing light to dark
Fire burn, the inner spark

This is all you'll ever see
The fire lives in me

These two are my favorite lines. It kind of reminds me of the band, Meatloaf. I don't know why. Hey by the way, do you have the tabs or the chords for this?

That was a really cool song, but I'm with whence. The last line of the chorus does seem a bit short. It probably would work better if we had music to hear it to, but unfortunately that's not the case. Personally I think "The fire lives inside of me" seems to fit better in terms of length.

As for "You're cancer, I'm the cure" all I can suggest is a rather similar "You're the cancer that I cure", but that's not very good.

All in all great song. Try to get someone to write music for it sometime!