Stargazer

She stares off
Seeming to see beyond our reality
She is a dreamer
She is a stargazer

I am a dreamer too
But I dream of what I could have done
She dreams of what she will do
I walk through life backwards
She walks forwards
I look through the rearview mirror
She looks though the windshield
I'm always staring at the ground, making sure that my feet are planted firmly
She looks to the sky, imaginin what it would be like to fly

Just for once
I wish I were
A Stargazer

Awwww...this is very cool. I like how you compare the two, especially the car analogy, for some reason that seemed really cool. Overall, I liked this a lot, and I could relate to it really well (I"m a Stargazer, lol.).

Nice job!

I like it, and I can definitely relate. I am sometimes a Stargazer, but usually I'm not. Just one thing: maybe you should break the last two lines into two lines each.

Very nice Dusky, as always.

I only have one thing, and that is this;

In the second stanza, fifth line "I walk bforwards, It just seems like it is too short and not powerful enough...I have no clue how to fix it, but that's what I noticed.

This is great I love it !!!

I walk through life backwards
She walks forwards
I look through the rearview mirror
She looks though the windshield

This is great, fav part.

This poem wasn't week at any point always powerful loved it !

I look through the rearview mirror
She looks though the windshield

Thats such a lovely thought. I like it.

Thanks y'all!

Hunter - I really couldn't think of anythign that needed to be said in that line... the fact that we're walking through life was established in the first line, so I didn't need to give a location, and I think you get a pretty good idea of HOW the Stargazer walks from the rest of the poem...

I thought this was really provacative and inspiring. However, you kind of break that kind of YOU GO GIRL!! attitude and make it clunky by using the word 'dream' way too much for your own good. Lol, if you just fix that, it would be great.

Wow, this is really amazing. I'm impressed. I agree, though that you might be a bit repetitive with the vocabulary you used. That said, I quite like the simplicity of your poem and the images it conjures up.Thought provoking and...well I'm not sure how else to describe it. It is most definately mysterious, which is good. It just makes you stop and think.

Cheers,
Eslyssa

I loved it. All and all it was very powerful and had some great descriptions/metaphors.

Loved the windshield/review mirror thing.....very original thought. May I steal it? *prepares to steal Dusky's original thoughts*

Dusky: No Areida, you can't have it.

Me: Are you sure? Oh well. I guess I'll just have to continue with my lavish praise of this awesomelyfied poem.

I'm always staring at the ground, making sure that my feet are planted firmly
She looks to the sky, imaginin what it would be like to fly

Just for once
I wish I were
A Stargazer

Ah! I can completely relate to this! My dad is always telling me I need to take responsibility and start growing up.....so I could really relate to this part....I'm a Stargazer at heart.

Marvelous job.

~*~Areida~*~

PS- Stop writing so well, you put us all to shame! Well...me at least.

Wow, this is amazing. Very beutiful. And I agree with Sam when she says you break away form the YOU GO GIRL! kind of attuide. The rear sheild mirror thing was great. This is extrodanary, very well done.

Thanks y'all.

areida07 wrote:PS- Stop writing so well, you put us all to shame! Well...me at least.

Yes ma'am. Will do ma'am. Whatever you say ma'am.

i really like this poem. it's deep but at the same time not complicated, very straight-forward, an easy and nice read. good job.

I really like your poem. It is really cool. I really like the interesting choice of words. It is interesting how you explained what you did so much. I like how you kept comparing yourself to "her". It gave the poem some clarity. My favorite part was when you campared you self to "her" (The Thing about the windshield & Rearview Mirror). Keep Up The Good Work.
I award You Twenty Points.
Thanks for sharing this.

Holy Crackers! Man, dude. You work that typing and writin' skills! You seriously do put us all to shame! STOP WRITING!
Tell me whenever you decide to post again, because I want to know whether or not to cont. writing because now I feel like crap because this was just so go.

I like how you compared in so many ways. Very creative. Keep writing