Shameless tears of intensifying pain
Slowly falling down my face like a silver waterfall
My soft brown eyes gone deep, dark and sad once again
As I hold my head in my hands, Tilting it back just a tad
I start to wish I'd never met her, I start to wish I died at birth
There's a kitchen drawer that's filled with knives
And to temptaion, I'm slowly beginning to give in
People tell me that it's not the answer, and though I know this I still don't care
They're never here to try to stop me, they're never here to show they care
Holding back my screams of agony, holding back the pain I feel
I can feel my throat slowly closing as I'm trying to exhale
My chest begins to ache, it's starting to hurt even to breathe
So I hold my breath a while, trying to forget my pain
But it only seems to grow, it only seems to just get worse
Time has tortured me with agony, abuse in many forms
Violated since age eleven, tormented since age five
Teased and taunted throughout my life, it still continues to this day
I'm trying hard to just stay strong now though I can't seem to forget
Memories come back to haunt me, as I'm sleeping in my bed
Dreams of falling, dreams of dying, dreams of horrifying violence
Filling my head when I close my eyes
I can't stop crying, I just keep lying, telling myself it's all alright
Friends tell me things will be better, but they only seem to just get worse
Hiding in my closet with the lights turned off, alone
I'm waiting for a break from life, waiting to feel like I belong
Waiting....crying...on the inside, I'm slowly dying
I look down at my wrist, it's bleeding
What happened, what have I done? When did I do this? I don't remember
Unconcious negligation of my family, negligation of my friends
People who tell me that they love me, though I can't bring myself to beleive it
Candles burning, the window is open and I'm sitting on the ledge
Staring at the stars above me, wondering when I can go home
I want it all to end, to go away; the pain, the anger, the hate
I want the memories to fade away forever, I want them never to come back
Seemingly invisible to those who walk right past me
They don't see me standing right infront of them, staring right into their eyes
I can hear them laughing at me behind my back, I hear the nasty things they say
"Look at the emo girl, let's all poke fun at her"
I never claimed to be anything special, never claimed to be important
Never asked anything of anyone, because I knew it wouldn't matter
Distraught and left alone, I feel so insignificant
Like a tiny speck of dust on a seemingly otherwise clean mirror
The mirror that I gaze into, though I don't like who's staring back at me
A girl who's broken, a girl so dead inside she hasn't a care in the whole damn world
A girl who's heart is tainted by lies, who's soul is darkened, a girl who feels so dead inside
She doesn't know somebody loves her, because no one makes her feel whole
She's used to always being alone, having no one care for her
She lies to herself, saying that everything's alright
In time her wounds will heal completely, the scars will dissapear, it's all alright
As time goes by the scars remain, they're not a pretty sight
They're on my wrist, they're on my arms, they're cutting deep into my heart
Emotional distress within, that's all I seem to feel
I want it all to go away for good, I want it all to come to and end
I want the memories to fade away, God please let me forget
All the bad people who've hurt me, everyone who made me feel so small
Everyone who made me feel like I wasn't worth a damn, like I was just another easy target
For their rumors and their lies, for every laugh they ever wanted to laugh
For their every stupid joke, please just let it go away before it is too late
