Being Me

This song was originally going to be about how I felt...but it deviated and I guess it's kind of corny, but here it is, for your critique. I know the lack of music notes won't help you, but still...

Being Me
You looked at me like I was the devil on earth,
looked like you'd hated me since my birth.
But I looked at you so naively,
I always thought you'd be the one to free me...

People say that the world's in a mess,
that life's to hard, their job is too stressed.
People tell me I've had it so easy,
that when push comes to shove, I'd be the one that falls easily.

Does anyone know what it's like?
It's not always easy, living my life.
Does anyone know how it feels?
To have people constantly at your heels?

It's not that easy being me.
Trying to hide behind false apathy,
Fighting hard for universities,
Labouring to get a first degree,
It's not that easy being me.

I'm often told that love is the best,
feeling to have deep in your chest.
I often wonder why they tell me,
Perhaps that great feeling's a clogged artery?

Can somebody tell me why?
I get the feeling I could break down and cry.
Why can't voices call from above?
Tell me why I can't face that word?

It's not that easy being me.
Keeping secrets of my memories,
Shying away from any intimacy,
Always enduring when I want to flee,
It's not that easy being me.

People said that I died so pointlessly,
I was always successful, always so happy,
People said that I was stupid,
Ending my life as a love sick cupid.

But I guess it was bound to me,
Right from the start I chased obsessively,
After targets I could never reach...

It's not that easy being me.
Always trying to please my family,
Never thinking there was more to be,
Failure had more of an effect on me...
It's not that easy being me.

Maybe one day you'll see,
It wasn't that easy being me.

cool

even coolers was i was the first one to post, anyway i think i would like to hear that song...

I think it was great! And it's not corny! If it had an awesome music with it, it would be an awesome song! It liked it!!! Good Job!

wow wow wow what more can be said it was really great and I could not find anything wrong with it so great job.

Couldn't find a lot wrong with it grammatically. Just one or two things I should mention:

I'm often told that love is the best,
feeling to have deep in your chest.

Shouldn't be any comma after best. If you need to know why, just ask.

Perhaps capitalisation could be added to the beginning of lines as well, but I'm not sure. I usually critique poetry more than lyrics, so I don't know all of the formatting rules.

Hm. I have mixed feeling here.

At first I thought it was quite good. Rhyme didn't seem too forced even though it was there. Interesting talking about the 'devil on earth' and so on.

However, as it goes on, nothing really seems to change. You seem to want to want this poem to be about something sad and depressing, but it turns into - for lack of a better word - emo poetry.

Now, I'm not saying you can't write about sadness, or sad things. Just think about how you're writing it. Try looking at other ways to portray the feeling, whether it's your own feeling or someone else's. If it helps, you could even try taking away the rhyme altogether.

Overall, this isn't a bad poem, but you could make it a lot better if you spent some more time on it.

Oh, and please forgive me for critiquing it like a poem -- I really cannot critique lyrics at all as I just keep thinking "but I can't hear the music!" so I have to do it this way.

Good luck with it,

Kay.

just saying, As a lyric writer myself, I can kinda imagine the music to this. Kinda.

Unfortunately, I see more of a ranting with rhymes rather than a true lyrical emotion being emphasized here. It's a woe as me poem. You are telling what is wrong. Okay. We know whats wrong. Express your feelings or it is as Kay put it, emo poetry.

also, it seems that in some places you stuck the line there just to have something to rhyme. Again, more emotion.

Otherwise, its a good start. But emotion other than depression needs to be expressed. Keep at it

It's not that easy being me.
Keeping secrets of my memories,
Shying away from any intimacy,
Always enduring when I want to flee,
It's not that easy being me.

I love that line. It looks like it came straight from the heart. But one thing though, I think this work is more of a poem than a song. It doesn't flow with the lines eventhough it has rhymes. If you would turn this into a song it would sound flat and possibly like a rap.