Don't Cry, It Won't Change A Thing

Don’t cry, it won’t change a thing
She’s gone and you can’t bring her back
She was so young, so innocent
Maybe God saw her beauty and wanted her for himself

She never got to see her wedding day
But she would’ve looked so beautiful in her dress
She would have smiled as she showed us pictures afterwards
I saw the delight in her eyes as she spoke of you

You should be marrying her now, not burying her
In the cold dark earth – the opposite of her
She loved colour, it matched her perfectly
Her happiness exuded out of her in her clothes

As she walked, a trail of light followed
She was an inspiration to us all
But I know she’s watching over you,
She’s here with us right now

She knows that we won’t forget her
When you’re alone, and you think of her, she’ll be there
And if she could, she’d comfort you
Like she has done a thousand times before

You should be marrying her now, not burying her
She had so much to live for
A hard life, maybe
So much to overcome, but she did it in the end

Don’t cry now, she wouldn’t want tears to fall
From the eyes she loved so much
Onto the face she adored
She wants you to know that she won’t ever stop loving you.

WOW!! THis is really great!! I don't think I could have written something this great. And you're right, when someone you love dies, don't cry. They would most likely want you to happy with the time she spent with you. I really love it and it flows nicely. Everything fits perfectly together. Great JOB!

Thank you very much
As the poem is so personal to me, it's really good to have positive feedback about it.
Thanks again
xxx

It's a good idea for a poem, but the poem its self could use some fixing up.

It had a slow pace, it felt bogged down my too many words, redundancies, and long lines. Also, you didn't use much punctuation, so you might want to take a look at this article I wrote: Poetry & Punctuation

I also have a new article on emotional poetry (like this poem.) but I don't have a link to it, so if you want to read that it's over in the writing tips, and isn't too hard to find.

The idea behind it was beautiful, and the poem needs to reflect that beauty. Try to cut out some unneeded lines, or places where you repeat what you have already said. Try to make the reader feel what you are expressing (this topic is touched on in the Emotional Poetry article I mentioned above). Bring us into the poem more, I think that would give the poem the jump start it needs to be even better.

Try to get your message across without directly saying it, also. Don't come out and say "don't cry, she wouldn't want it." but try to make that the message behind the poem. Your poem idea has a grace to it, all you need to do is have that reflected through the poem itself, and the word choice, etc. (I think I already said that?)

Anyway, I hope my insights helped! If you have any questions, go right ahead and PM me, and I'll answer them all.