Lycanthropy

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Lycanthropy

Chapter 1


My muscles tensed , I took a quick look around and saw people carrying torches. I kept on hiding up on a sturdy branch. Trying not make a sound and not making any leaves fall but my paw slipped. “There is that cursed Werewolf,” said a man and the village was after me again.

I jumped off my tree and started running on all fours. I was faster than them, but I smelled that some of them brought dogs and horses. I heard the distinct twang and thump of an arrow being released from a bow and landing right where I was not two seconds ago.

Then up ahead I saw one thing I was hoping for, a steep cliff. I knew I could make it, but I wasn’t sure if the village behind me could make it or not, I just hoped they couldn’t. I was still hundreds of yards from the, so I picked up the pace.

The cliff was coming closer and closer, I stole a glance around and saw a man on horse closing in on me. Then I was upon the cliff, I guessed it was at least twenty feet, I can jump at least fifteen. “Halt you fiend and accept your fate, you are running right into a dead,” yelled a man on a horse not far back, but he didn’t know how wrong he was.

I jumped, soared at least halfway up, clawed at the ledge with my claws, and started scaling it. I few arrows hit near me but never meet their mark. I made it to the topmost ledge and started pulling myself up over the edge and then I felt a sting in my right shoulder as an arrow pierced it. I let out a scream that sounded close to a dog’s yelp.

I made it over the ledge and ran into the nearby trees. Once in the forest and I pulled the arrow out of my shoulder and started licking the wound clean. I laid down and curled up to keep warm and slept till the moon sank and the sun rise.

I woke up in the morning with the familiar pain of Werewolf bone’s changing into humans and moving around. Slowly my clawed paws became hands and feet, my snout formed back into a human mouth and nose, most of the Lycanthrope hair receded, and finally my hunched back straightened. I was back into my naked human form. My dark brown hair, pale human skin, and my body was skinny and my ribs shown from days of little eating, I was starved.

My name is Lethero and I am a Werewolf, a Lycanthrope, that’s more polite to us. I change by moonlight, lose my powers at a new moon, and go into a bloodlust during a full moon. People mostly associate that we only change during full moon but that is not true. During a normal night we keep our human conscience so most of us have enough sense to stay out of human towns, but full moons change that, and we go into towns and eat sheep and people.

My wolf instincts told me I was near a safe haven for me, Zeinta, the only Werewolf village Europe. A small village that us wolves can stay in peace quietly without human threat. I could travel there and get some clothes, but then they would be ruined by next moon. So I headed the way my instincts told me to go, into the sun.

I walked in the forest in the rising sun piercing through the thin canopy over my head. I was cold owing to the fact I was naked and I didn’t have my fur like I did the night before. The night before, what was I doing in the village?

I remember me going in there not thinking of the time, seeing if I could scrounge up some food. I was in some man’s smokehouse when I started feeling the pains of transformation. I looked out side an saw what I fear the most, a waxing gibbous, full moon was not far away.

I tried escaping but the owner of the smokehouse saw me and alerted the village. I ran straight for the woods and hid in a tree and waited at least ten minutes for them to find me. And now here I am walking naked back to Zeinta.

I came upon the village about noon day. It was a ramshackle of a town, looked a lot like a ghost town if it weren’t for the scruffy looking men, women, and children walking through the small streets. Everyone knew each other but not everyone’s story of how they got Lycanthropy.

I walked into the town and went to the clothe supplier, Kado, he filched clothes and distributed them with the other Lycans. “Ye forget to remove clothes again before transformation, Lethero?”

“Yes, I almost got me some food too before transforming,” I said.

“You idiot, you of all Lycans should know not to go into a village, even in human form,” said Kado.

“I know, I know,” I said defensively, “but now I got to go see Geedo, I got hit in my shoulder with an arrow.”

“Ok, but remember find an excluded spot in the forest tonight, it’s a full moon,” Kado reminded. “And don’t forget to remove your clothes before changing, I won’t have more clothing supplies for a while.”

“Ok, bye,” I said and left.

I walked through the town of Zeinta. Little kids with nasty attitudes ran through town causing mischief. Mostly everyone had a starved expression on their face and others had looks of rebelling against man kind. I hunger for at least one decent meal but we have none of those here. We can only get food by hunting in our wolf forms, or if we can scrounge some out in human villages in the human form.

Geedo, was the Lycan doctors, he gives some Lycans help, we heal faster than humans, but he helps for deep wounds. All we know about him is he was once a human doctor before he was bitten. I wasn’t sure how deep the arrow got so I’d have him check.

He leaved in the only clean looking house and inside he had various doctors instruments. “Ah, Lethero, what has happened to you this time?” asked Geedo as I walked in.

“Hey Geedo,” I said. “I got what I think is a nasty wound by an arrow during the moon.”

“Ok, let me see,” he demanded and I took off my shirt and turned around.

After a few minutes of poking and examining, he came to my front and said, “It has already healed, it must of haven’t been that deep, nothing to be real worried about.” Well it was kind of obvious now because the pains have subsided long ago.

“Thanks Geedo,” I said.

“Oh, it’s problem that’s what I’m here to do in human form,” he said. “Well, Bye.

“Bye,” I said and left the house.

I had a friend, but he was closer to a brother to me, Scado, in Zeinta, but I been away for a while and last time I saw him he was close to pure bloodlust. He almost lost it a few times, but I was there to bring him back. I just hope he hasn’t lost his good wolfish self.

I arrived at the house me and him spent as Werewolf pups. It still had the claw marks we made during the nights. We had always been together me and him even when we were bitten. It was only twenty years ago...

We lived in the poor part of town, we were two years old when it happened. A raid came by Werewolves in the late night not in full moon which was strange. Our mothers hid under a secret floor board, but a wolf sniffed us out. It somehow found the loose floor board and opened with difficulty and it looked down at us and then started biting. Our mothers fended them off but me and Scado were nicked by a canine tooth.

Our mothers knew if someone found out we were bitten we would have been killed. So they did a desperate thing. They found a She-wolf before all the wolfs left, and begged her to care for us since we were bitten. The she-wolf agreed and took us away and the she-wolf, Nicarga we have known as our mother from two years old.

I went to the door and opened it, it looked empty but I saw a pile of rags in the corner. “Scado, is that you?” I asked, I heard a faint whimper. “It’s me Lethero.”

I saw the rags move and a head shift out. “Lethero is it really you,” stuttered a voice of a starved person. “When you left I almost went into bloodlust.”

“Well hear I am so don’t go yet,” I said. “Why haven’t you ate, you look starved?”

“I’m afraid to much blood will make me go into bloodlust,” stuttered Scado.

And then in the distance a gun shot rang out. “Don’t tell me you been killing people in villages, no one would be that stupid to come here just to kill us for fun.”

“I just went there for food.”

“Did you kill anyone though?”

“Y..yes, only five, it was a big town.”

“Damn Scado, you are fool. You should’ve known they would follow you here even if you killed one person,”and as I said that two shots rang out and I heard a few dog yelps.

“Return back to Hell fiends and never bother us again,” yelled a man outside.

Then the door to the house me and Scado were in bust down. “Die fiends,” said a man and he raised his rifle, but I jumped up and bit at his throat. Then a shot rang out as he slowly died with blood gushed out from his neck. I heard a yelp behind me, Scado.

I looked back at him and he had a bullet shot to the head. “No, Scado, don’t leave me,” I said. “You’re the only real family I have.” But then I heard a howl of one of the wolves outside. I looked out the window, the full moon.

The pains of changing came again. Then from there I don’t remember.


Chapter 2

“Wake up,” said a distant voice, “wake up.” Then I felt a slap on the face. “Wake up, damn Lethero, wake up.” I open my eyes and everything was blurry, but in a few seconds my vision came back.

I had a few other Lycans around me, I guessed the sun came up, two of them I knew, Geedo and Kado. The other two were new to me. “Wah, happen,” I said weakly.

“Don’t you remember the full moon,” said Geedo. “The moon, and us, must have scared the humans off. I few human corpses, but we can eat those, but the Lycans we’ll find people close to them and ask them if they want the Ritual or just buried.”

“What about Scado, where is he?”

“I’m sorry the shot went to deep and there was nothing I could do,” said Geedo. “Would you like to do the Ritual?”

“The Ritual,” I choked out, “it will honor his memory as a Lycan. I just can’t believe he is gone.”

“Ok I’ll leave him where he is and let you begin when you are ready,” said Kado, “Now you seem to need new clothes, don’t worry everyone else had their clothes on during the attack. But what I’m wondering why they came.”

“That bastard, Skado,” my mind was burning when I said that, “killed some people from their village and they followed him here.”

“Damn, I always knew he was to reckless,” said Kado. “You two were always reckless as pups but you grew out of it, he never did.

“I know, first Nicarga and now Scado, you lost all those that loved you,” said Kado.
“It mist be very hard on you.”

Nicarga, the she-wolf who mine and Scado’s parents gave us to to protect us. I remember our first three years with her...

“Scado, Letharo, don’t go near that village of humans!” yelled Nicarga. It was a moon night, the moon was waning, and I, Scado, and Nicarga were out hunting in a forest near a village. Me and Scado were just play fighting as all pups do, but we were veering towards the village.

“Why mommy?” asked Scado, we still did not know of our real parents.

“Because if they catch you they’ll kill you on the sight,” said Nicarga.

“But don’t we just look like cute little puppies like you said?” I asked

“Yes, but the humans will look beyond that and then kill you,” she said and me and Scado sat obediently waiting to hear more. “They’ll call you demons and treat you the same.”

“How do you know mommy,” inquired Scado.

“Because son I went into one and I wouldn’t of made made it out if it weren’t for my mother,” told Nicarga. “I wasn’t bitten to become a Werewolf, I was born this way, it wasn’t my choice”

“Were me and Scado born Werewolves mommy,” I asked.

She looked at me hesitant, “Yes.” Now I knew she was just trying to protect us from the truth.

The day came and went, and everyone changed into Werewolves, even Scado’s dead body changed. The Lycanism is a physical change, and they’ll always change even after death, as long as there is flesh the body changes. And that is the Ritual, in the moon the person closes to the dead Lycan has to eat the flesh and organs while the body is in Lycan form and the bones shall stay as a Lycan.

In the moon filled night I went into the house Scado died in and made sure he was as he died. Tears welled up in my wolf eyes and memories came flooding back into me like a tsunami. But the one that hit the worst was when we were ten and we learned Nicarga wasn’t our mother. It was a new moon, the only nights we stay human she told us the truth....

“Skado, Lethero,” yelled Nicarga, “come inside I need to,” she choked, “tell you something.”

“Yes mommy,” I asked in a tired voice because me and Scado been outside wrestling.

“Is Scado here,” she asked, “good come inside and close the door.”

She sat us down on the floor, we had no sitting furniture, we had no furniture really. “Scado, Lethero, there has been something I haven’t been telling you since you were two years old,” she sad and started to cry.

“I thought we were always with you, your our mommy,” said Scado in a worried voice.

“That’s the point you aren’t my sons and you are not brothers,” she said in a chocked cry.

“Mommy, it’s not true you’re our mommy and we’re you sons,” I said.

“I’m sorry but you’re not my pups, your not even full Lycans, you were bitten at two!” she screamed out. “Your true mothers trusted me with you when you were bitten, I didn’t know what to say but I took, I cared for like the pups I never had and I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner!” And she broke down crying.

“I hate you,” whispered Scado, “I hate you!” He ran out of the house and I sat there comforting Nicarga. I know now that she hadn’t told the truth to protect us, but she is my true mother and not that human who gave us to her, I was glad those humans gave us to Nicarga she is the best mother there was.

Hope it's good I usually start messing up on chapter 2.




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There are a few gramatical errors, such as, mixing up your use of commas, semi-colons, and full stops. There are also just small words that are missing to complete sentences for example:
...you are running right into a dead,”

but nothing there that can't be fixed by simply re-reading and just checking it all again.

Your use of first person is very interesting and a very brave choice, although, it does create a much more personal and intense tone in your story. Although, you could probably include a bit more description and insights into his feelings and thoughts, taking advantage of the first person style. Also, I know it's in first person, but you do use the word 'I' a lot and unnecessarily; it's repetition takes away from the rest of the story and can be distracting.

“but now I got to go see Geedo, I got hit in my shoulder with an arrow.”

Try to avoid using the word 'got'; instead find other, more intersting words to replace it, in this instance you could use need/get and was, depending on what you intend it to mean. Unless, of course, this is expressing dialect.

One last thing; the death of Scado seemed very sudden and not as emotional as I would have thought it should have been considering the impression I recieved of how much Letharo cared for him.

Overall, it seems like a very sound and enjoyable beginning, although, this only appears to be an introduction to the characters and setting. It'd be interesting to see the storyline develop; I always enjoy a good werewolf story ^_^
Keep it up!




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Hi! I like this and I think you're doing really well. I agree with paintedcookie that you need to check your work over though, as some of it is a little confusing .
Also I don't understand this:
My wolf instincts told me I was near a safe haven for me, Zeinta, the only Werewolf village Europe. A small village that us wolves can stay in peace quietly without human threat. I could travel there and get some clothes, but then they would be ruined by next moon. So I headed the way my instincts told me to go, into the sun.

It sound like you've made a decision no to go to Zeinta, then you write:
And now here I am walking naked back to Zeinta.

This made me a little confused. Maybe you could try re-phrasing it?
Anyway I love it, so when you post the next part could you PM me? Thanks, Bkwrm




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We found Scado later in Geedo’s house, Geedo said he’d deal with Scado and help him calm down and send him back. He came back but he never looked Nicarga the same way again, and he only spoke to her when she spoke to him.

Dawn was struggling against the night as I finished the Ritual, all that was left of Scado was his bones. As dawn burst over the hill side I changed back into human, but Scado’s bone stayed in Lycan form never shifting and never changing.

I gathered his bones still teary eyed in a blanket and took him outside. I saw that about five others doing the same and we all massed towards the Burning Pit, the last place for Werewolves. We burn their bones and spread their ashes through the village, as a sign they will always be remembered.

We all laid the bones of or friends or family in the pit and threw bundles of wood in. Geedo and Kado came in wearing dark cloaks, hiding there faces, carrying torches. And then they threw the torches in.

The wood took time to finally catch and I watched the last physical remains of Scado disappear like Nicarga’s bones one her death. It was a dark night, it was almost new moon. It was two years ago when she was, murdered...

I looked outside and it was rainy hard. Scado and Nicarga just got done with a argument, Lycan arguments almost always lead to bloodshed but I broke it up quick. Nicarga was sitting in the corner breaking down and I went over there to comfort her.

“Nicarga,” I said in my wolfish voice, “don’t listen to that damn bastard. He’s just so damn mad because he’s still upset about you telling us you’re not our mother, but you’ll always be my mother.”

She let out a wolfish cry and said, “He just always seems to be picking these fights,” and she broke down even.

“Scado you damn happy now,” I yelled, “if it weren’t for her I would rip your damn throat out for what you to her.”

“Oh wah,” Scado shouted back, “she is to damn soft...”

He didn’t get a chance to finish what he said because I jumped up and grabbed him with my Werewolf paw. “Don’t you dare mock her Scado..” I stopped early in my threat because I saw Scado’s eyes give a pulse of blood, bloodlust.

“Scado calm down now you’re going to lose to the bloodlust.”

“Well let is come, I don’t give a damn now and why would you.”

And once he finished that we heard the sound of chains hitting the ground. We didn’t know what it was, but Nicarga sure did. “Lethero, Scado, hide he is here,” she whispered urgently.

“And now who the hell is he,” Scado roared.

“Shut the hell up he’ll here you,” she whispered even more urgently. “And he is the Mercenary, a Vampire, he is paid to bring back as many Lycan heads as you can. Now hide somewhere.” But it was to late he heard us

The chains slowly came towards our door, and then they stopped right in front of our door. And then the door was kicked down. In the doorway was the silhouette of a man with a black coat, a sword stained with, what I guessed, the bloods of many other Lycans, and the eyes, the red, bloodshot, piercing eyes scanning the room stopping on me, Nicarga, Scado. “Ah, how nice three wolves at once my luck is good tonight,” he said and his voice was like listening to nails to chalkboard. “Now let’s make this easy and don’t fight back,” and as he said that he prepared his sword.

continued chapter 2 add more soon
Fly, Fight, Win . . . in Air, Space, and Cyberspace.
-Air Force Mission Statement-

Integrity First
Service Before Self
Excellence In All We Do
~Air Force Core Values~

*Lethero*




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Please if you are reading this I seriuosly need you to critique this if you find mistakes. *gets on knees and beggs* please I beg you.
Fly, Fight, Win . . . in Air, Space, and Cyberspace.
-Air Force Mission Statement-

Integrity First
Service Before Self
Excellence In All We Do
~Air Force Core Values~

*Lethero*




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But I knew Scado wasn’t going without a fight. He dropped into a Lycan fighting stance, commonly all four paws, and he started a deep threatening growl which might have scared weak Lycans and many humans but this guy was unaffected.

“You stupid wolf (Scado let out a Lycan bark which sounds a lot more scary than the deadliest wolf’s bark), you think you can take me alone.”

“He won’t be,” I barked out. “He has me, I got your back Scado.

And we both lunged at the Vampires neck, but he just lifted his hand and swatted us away like annoying flies.

“Do you two think you can defeat me?” he asked. “Then two must be damn fools.” And he let out his horrible laugh.

He took a swing of his blade at me while was on the floor, but I rolled out of the way. Some of my tail wasn’t lucky, though no contact was made with my tail but it took off some of the ragged fur at the end. Whoa, that was close.

And as he was distracted by me, Scado made another attack at his neck and bit hard.

“Oo amn olf et off o’ e!”the Vampire gurgled out, but Scado bit harder and I smelled blood as it leaked from the Vampire’s wound.

Will the Vampire was dealing with Scado I ran up and bit the sword handle and tore it out of the Vampire’s grip.

But I looked outside and to my horror, on the horizon the sun was rising, and me, Scado, and Nicarga began shifting to human form. The Vampire also saw the sun and I saw something on his face you would never expect to see, terror, pure, undeniable, terror.

Scado’s bit loosened as changing was taking place and the Vampire took the advantage of tearing him off. Then he ran across the room and grabbed his sword and ran towards the door, but before he ran out he reached inside his boot and threw a dagger at me. The strange thing is the dagger never hit.

My eyes were closed when he threw the dagger in fear of death, but when I opened them I saw the only thing more worse, Nicarga stood in the way with the dagger deep into her chest.
“No, you bastard, I’ll kill you,” but my words were never heard because the Vampire was quickly running towards the forest.

I dropped to my knees in front of Nicarga, crying. “She can’t be gone,” I sobbed. “Why did she have to save me.”

And soon I got my answer, Nicarga took in a gasp of air. “Don’t worry Lethero, I would rather die for you or Scado than any other way, but please just don’t be mad at me. I don’t think you want to me on bad terms do you.” She gave a painful laugh, drew in her last breath and was gone.

I looked up a Scado, he had a scared Werewolf puppy stare. He backed towards the door and ran away.
Fly, Fight, Win . . . in Air, Space, and Cyberspace.
-Air Force Mission Statement-

Integrity First
Service Before Self
Excellence In All We Do
~Air Force Core Values~

*Lethero*




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This is.... the fifth time i've tried to start criting your story.... I swear to god this is the last try. after this, if i can't press submit, then i'm going to give up. (YWS logs me off when i click preview and then I have to go and write another, but I keep trying to write a long and detailed one. I decided to quote it once this time so that that wouldn't happen!) I enjoyed reading your story as it was one of the more original ones.

A few things threw me off, including the fact that you start too many sentences with a cunjunction. (and, but, so.... mostly and) Try not to start as many with them because it makes all your sentences sound like runons. Not good.

There are also a lot of sentences that are worded strangely such as:
And that is the Ritual, in the moon the person closes to the dead Lycan has to eat the flesh and organs while the body is in Lycan form and the bones shall stay as a Lycan.

It took me a few seconds to read this over again and understand what you meant. First, closes should be closest. Take out the and in "and the bones shall stay as a Lycan" because it sounds very continuous.

Just a suggestion, but perhaps you could read over your chapter before you post it. There are plenty of simple mistakes that could be fixed with just a word or two.

I think you could put this through word and check it with spell check, it'll pick up any gramatical and spelling errors. Okay, well pm me if you want me to clarify anything or check it over again. Sorry sorry SORRY! for the whole wait even though i said i would like last week.... I really liked the chapter, by the way. I can't appologize enough for being so slow.
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Well, I have a lot of suggestions, so i'll only give you a few.
First off, I can connect with this piece, considering my favorite character of all time is Remus Lupin from Harry Potter. Gotta love the werewolves. Haha.

My muscles tensed , I took a quick look around and saw people carrying torches. I kept on hiding up on a sturdy branch. Trying not make a sound and not making any leaves fall but my paw slipped. “There is that cursed Werewolf,” said a man and the village was after me again.


Just use lots more description. Description is a writer's best friend. What about the setting? What does it look like? What is around him? This is the first paragraph, so you need to set the tone, setting, voice, and basically everything. Haha.

"but I smelled that some of them brought dogs and horses."

"But I could smell their dogs and horses" makes more sense.

Then up ahead I saw one thing I was hoping for, a steep cliff. I knew I could make it, but I wasn’t sure if the village behind me could make it or not, I just hoped they couldn’t.


"...I wasn't sure if the villagers behind me could. I hoped they couldn't." Adds structure to your sentences.

"I let out a scream that sounded close to a dog’s yelp."

"I let out a howling scream" gives us the same image, but with more creativity.

Slowly my clawed paws became hands and feet, my snout formed back into a human mouth and nose, most of the Lycanthrope hair receded, and finally my hunched back straightened.


Talk about the sounds he is making and what he is feeling. Keep in mind, that his BONES are REFORMING. That would hurt, I'd imagine. Describe his anguish.

"I walked in the forest in the rising sun piercing through the thin canopy over my head."

That doesn't really make sense. "I walked in the forest, the rising sun..." Does, however.

"The night before, what was I doing in the village?"

"The night before...what was I..."

"I remember me going"

Take out the "me."

“I know, I know,” I said defensively, “but now I got to go see Geedo, I got hit in my shoulder with an arrow.”


I completely forgot he had been hit with an arrow. Keep reminding us, by talking about the pain/blood/whatever that goes on while he is walking to the village.

That's it for now!




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Wow....very powerful, Ash.
I have a couple of things:
In first part, you use to many "I"s. Try to use less "I"s. There are also a few grammar and fluency errors. They're easy to fix. I like how you explore "being a werewolf", like the transformations and everything. I also like the drama ,and even though I'm not a big fantasy person, I was hooked! That's a really good sign.
Was there a real reason that Nicarga just suddenly broke down to tell then the truth? It seemed kind of random to me, but it was understandable. There's good character interplay between Scado and Lethero. Characters make or break the story!
Keep up the good work!
~PN
"Look, Ma. No hands"
"You haven't got a ma."
"Maybe a nice old lady will adopt me. I'm very loveable."
―Fi and Darman




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I can say that you had written the story in a great hurry because you had made a lot of mistakes.

Comments in bold text,

My muscles tensed , I took a quick look around and saw people carrying torches. I kept on hiding up on a sturdy branch. Trying not make a sound and not making any leaves fall but my paw slipped. “There is that cursed Werewolf,” said a man and the village(villagers)as after me again.

I jumped off my tree and started running on all fours. I was faster than them, but I smelled that some of them brought dogs and horses. I heard the distinct twang and thump of an arrow being released from a bow and landing right where I was not two seconds ago.

Then up ahead I saw one thing I was hoping for, a steep cliff. I knew I could make it, but I wasn’t sure if the village(villagers) behind me could make it or not, I just hoped they couldn’t. I was still hundreds of yards from the, so I picked up the pace.

The cliff was coming closer and closer, I stole a glance around and saw a man on(A) horse closing in on me. Then I was upon the cliff, I guessed it was at least twenty feet, I can jump at least fifteen. “Halt you fiend and accept your fate, you are running right into a dead(This is confusing,you seem to have missed something),"yelled a man on a horse not far back, but he didn’t know how wrong he was

I jumped, soared at least halfway up, clawed at the ledge with my claws, and started scaling it. I few arrows hit near me but never meet(met) their mark. I made it to the topmost ledge and started pulling myself up over the edge and then I felt a sting in my right shoulder as an arrow pierced it. I let out a scream that sounded close to a dog’s yelp.

I made it over the ledge and ran into the nearby trees. Once in the forest and I pulled the arrow out of my shoulder and started licking the wound clean. I laid down and curled up to keep warm and slept till the moon sank and the sun rise.

I woke up in the morning with the familiar pain of Werewolf bone’s changing into humans and moving around. Slowly my clawed paws became hands and feet, my snout formed back into a human mouth and nose, most of the Lycanthrope hair receded, and finally my hunched back straightened. I was(changed) back into my naked human form. My dark brown hair, pale human skin, and my body was skinny and my ribs shown from days of little eating, I was starved.(starving would be better)

My name is Lethero and I am a Werewolf, a Lycanthrope, that’s more polite to us. I change by (the)moonlight, lose my powers at a new moon, and go into a bloodlust during a full moon. People mostly associate that we only change during full moon but that is not true. During a normal night we keep our human conscience so most of us have enough sense to stay out of human towns, but full moons change that, and we go into towns and eat sheep and people.

My wolf instincts told me I was near a safe haven for me, Zeinta, the only Werewolf village Europe. A small village that us wolves can stay in peace quietly without human threat. I could travel there and get some clothes, but then they would be ruined by next moon. So I headed the way my instincts told me to go, into the sun.

I walked in the forest in the rising sun piercing through the thin canopy over my head. I was cold owing to the fact I was naked and I didn’t have my fur like I did the night before. The night before, what was I doing in the village?

I remember me going in there not thinking of the time, seeing if I could scrounge up some food. I was in some man’s smokehouse when I started feeling the pains of transformation. I looked out side an saw what I fear the most, a waxing gibbous, full moon was not far away.

I tried escaping but the owner of the smokehouse saw me and alerted the village. I ran straight for the woods and hid in a tree and waited at least ten minutes for them to find me. And now here I am walking naked back to Zeinta.(I thought you were going where you instincts told you)

I came upon the village about noon day. It was a ramshackle of a town, looked a lot like a ghost town if it weren’t for the scruffy looking men, women, and children walking through the small streets. Everyone knew each other but not everyone’s story of how they got Lycanthropy.

I walked into the town and went to the clothe supplier, Kado, he filched clothes and distributed them with the other Lycans. “Ye forget to remove clothes again before transformation, Lethero?”

“Yes, I almost got me some food too before transforming,” I said.

“You idiot, you of all Lycans should know not to go into a village, even in human form,” said Kado.

“I know, I know,” I said defensively, “but now I got(put "need here) to go see Geedo, I got hit in my shoulder with an arrow.”

“Ok, but remember find an excluded spot in the forest tonight, it’s a full moon,” Kado reminded. “And don’t forget to remove your clothes before changing, I won’t have more clothing supplies for a while.”

“Ok, bye,” I said and left.

I walked through the town of Zeinta. Little kids with nasty attitudes ran through town causing mischief. Mostly everyone had a starved expression on their face and others had looks of rebelling against man kind. I(was) hunger(hungry) for at least one decent meal but we have none of those here. We can only get food by hunting in our wolf forms, or if we can scrounge some out in human villages in the human form.

Geedo, was the Lycan doctors, he gives some Lycans help, we heal faster than humans, but he helps for deep wounds. All we know about him is he was once a human doctor before he was bitten. I wasn’t sure how deep the arrow got so I’d have him check.

He leaved(lived) in the only clean looking house and inside he had various doctors(docter's) instruments. “Ah, Lethero, what has happened to you this time?” asked Geedo as I walked in.

“Hey Geedo,” I said. “I got what I think is a nasty wound by an arrow during the moon.”

“Ok, let me see,” he demanded and I took off my shirt and turned around.

After a few minutes of poking and examining, he came to my front and said, “It has already healed, it must of haven’t been that deep, nothing to be real(really) worried about.” Well it was kind of obvious now because the pains have subsided long ago.

“Thanks Geedo,” I said.

“Oh, it’s problem that’s what(change this to "it's not a problem,as that's what")I’m here to do in human form,” he said. “Well, Bye.

“Bye,” I said and left the house.

I had a friend, but he was closer to a brother to me, Scado, in Zeinta, but I been away for a while and last time I saw him he was close to pure bloodlust. He almost lost it a few times, but I was there to bring him back. I just hope he hasn’t lost his good wolfish self.

I arrived at the house me and him spent as Werewolf pups. It still had the claw marks we made during the nights. We had always been together me and him even when we were bitten. It was only twenty years ago...

We lived in the poor part of town, we were two years old when it happened. A raid came by Werewolves in the late night not in full moon which was strange. Our mothers hid under a secret floor board, but a wolf sniffed us out. It somehow found the loose floor board and opened with difficulty and it looked down at us and then started biting. Our mothers fended them off but me and Scado were nicked by a canine tooth.

Our mothers knew if someone found out we were bitten we would have been killed. So they did a desperate thing. They found a She-wolf before all the wolfs left, and begged her to care for us since we were bitten. The she-wolf agreed and took us away and the she-wolf, Nicarga we have known as our mother from two years old.

I went to the door and opened it, it looked empty but I saw a pile of rags in the corner. “Scado, is that you?” I asked, I heard a faint whimper. “It’s me Lethero.”

I saw the rags move and a head shift out. “Lethero is it really you(?)” stuttered a voice of a starved person. “When you left I almost went into bloodlust.”

“Well hear(here) I am(,) so don’t go yet,” I said. “Why haven’t you ate, you look starved?”

“I’m afraid to much blood will make me go into bloodlust,” stuttered Scado.

And then in the distance a gun shot rang out. “Don’t tell me you been killing people in villages, no one would be that stupid to come here just to kill us for fun.”(who said this?)

“I just went there for food.”

“Did you kill anyone though?”

“Y..yes, only five, it was a big town.”

“Damn Scado, you are fool. You should’ve known they would follow you here even if you killed one person,”and as I said that two shots rang out and I heard a few dog yelps.

“Return back to Hell fiends and never bother us again,” yelled a man outside.

Then the door to the house me and Scado were in bust down. “Die fiends,” said a man and he raised his rifle, but I jumped up and bit at his throat. Then a shot rang out as he slowly died with blood gushed out from his neck. I heard a yelp behind me, Scado.

I looked back at him and he had a bullet shot to the head. “No, Scado, don’t leave me,” I said. “You’re the only real family I have.” But then I heard a howl of one of the wolves outside. I looked out the window, the full moon.

The pains of changing came again. Then from there I don’t remember.


Chapter 2

“Wake up,” said a distant voice, “wake up.” Then I felt a slap on the face. “Wake up, damn Lethero, wake up.” I open my eyes and everything was blurry, but in a few seconds my vision came back.

I had a few other Lycans around me, I guessed the sun came up, two of them I knew, Geedo and Kado. The other two were new to me. “Wah, happen(?)” I said weakly.

“Don’t you remember the full moon,” said Geedo. “The moon, and us, must have scared the humans off. I(found a) few human corpses, but we can eat those, but the Lycans we’ll find people close to them and ask them if they want the Ritual or just buried.”

“What about Scado, where is he?”

“I’m sorry the shot went to deep and there was nothing I could do,” said Geedo. “Would you like to do the Ritual?”

“The Ritual,” I choked out, “it will honor his memory as a Lycan. I just can’t believe he is gone.”

“Ok I’ll leave him where he is and let you begin when you are ready,” said Kado, “Now you seem to need new clothes, don’t worry everyone else had their clothes on during the attack. But what I’m wondering why they came.”

“That bastard, Skado,” my mind was burning when I said that, “killed some people from their village and they followed him here.”

“Damn, I always knew he was to reckless,” said Kado. “You two were always reckless as pups but you grew out of it, he never did.

“I know, first Nicarga and now Scado, you lost all those that loved you,” said Kado.
“It mist(must) be very hard on you.”

Nicarga, the she-wolf who(was) mine and Scado’s parents gave us to to protect us. I remember our first three years with her...

“Scado, Letharo, don’t go near that village of humans!” yelled Nicarga. It was a moon night, the moon was waning, and I, Scado, and Nicarga were out hunting in a forest near a village. Me and Scado were just play fighting as all pups do, but we were veering towards the village.

“Why mommy?” asked Scado, we still did not know of our real parents.

“Because if they catch you they’ll kill you on the sight,” said Nicarga.

“But don’t we just look like cute little puppies like you said?” I asked

“Yes, but the humans will look beyond that and then kill you,” she said and me and Scado sat obediently waiting to hear more. “They’ll call you demons and treat you the same.”

“How do you know mommy,” inquired Scado.

“Because son I went into one and I wouldn’t of(cut "of and put "have") made made(cut one "made")it out if it weren’t for my mother,” told Nicarga. “I wasn’t bitten to become a Werewolf, I was born this way, it wasn’t my choice”

“Were me and Scado born Werewolves mommy,” I asked.

She looked at me hesitant, “Yes.” Now I knew she was just trying to protect us from the truth.

The day came and went, and everyone changed into Werewolves, even Scado’s dead body changed. The Lycanism is a physical change, and they’ll always change even after death, as long as there is flesh the body changes. And that is the Ritual, in the moon the person closes to the dead Lycan has to eat the flesh and organs while the body is in Lycan form and the bones shall stay as a Lycan.

In the moon filled night I went into the house Scado died in and made sure he was as he died. Tears welled up in my wolf eyes and memories came flooding back into me like a tsunami. But the one that hit the worst was when we were ten and we learned Nicarga wasn’t our mother. It was a new moon, the only nights we stay human she told us the truth....

“Skado, Lethero,” yelled Nicarga, “come inside I need to,” she choked, “tell you something.”

“Yes mommy,” I asked in a tired voice because me and Scado been outside wrestling.

“Is Scado here,” she asked, “good come inside and close the door.”

She sat us down on the floor, we had no sitting furniture, we had no furniture really. “Scado, Lethero, there has been something I haven’t been telling you since you were two years old,” she sad and started to cry.

“I thought we were always with you, your our mommy,” said Scado in a worried voice.

“That’s the point you aren’t my sons and you are not brothers,” she said in a chocked cry.

“Mommy, it’s not true you’re our mommy and we’re you sons,” I said.

“I’m sorry but you’re not my pups, your not even full Lycans, you were bitten at two!” she screamed out. “Your true mothers trusted me with you when you were bitten, I didn’t know what to say but I took, I cared for like the pups I never had and I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner!” And she broke down crying.

“I hate you,” whispered Scado, “I hate you!” He ran out of the house and I sat there comforting Nicarga. I know now that she hadn’t told the truth to protect us, but she is my true mother and not that human who gave us to her, I was glad those humans gave us to Nicarga she is the best mother there was.

I have only enough time to review this story so I won't be able to review the other ones you added.

Now,in your prologue you say that Nicarga gave birth to Lethero and scado so how come Nicarga not be her their real mother?

Other than those I don't find any other mistakes.Fix the ones I pointed out. :wink:

Good luck. :D



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