Sweet Madness

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It’s the sweetest madness.
Warm and cold at the same time.
Untouchable, unbreakable, unstoppable.
Light and dark intermingled.
More alive than ever before,
More dead than I could ever be.
Invisible to everyone,
Undeniable to oneself.
It leaves a mark without touching you.
Leaves a scar, though it’s never seen.
A more bittersweet insanity,
I have never known.
No control, no escape.
Given a life sentence,
Though no crime has been committed.
Can’t ever escape,
To harsh, cold world of sanity,
Stuck forever in inescapable, unavoidable, madness
Last edited by blonde&confused on Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
H. Edwards




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"Deader than I could ever be" - "Deader"?

"Thou no crime has been committed" - "Thou" should be "Though".

"Can’t ever escape" - That sounds ugly.

You don't use any full stops and you need more commas. I find that it stops and starts when you read it, it doesn't flow very well. The idea is a bit strange. Even so I quite enjoyed it.
ln(-a)=i(pi) + lna




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I agree with everything Ofour said.

Maybe change "deader" to "more dead"




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Deader than I could ever be
I don't think deader is a word. More dead?

Thou no crime has been committed
Bad word usage... The word should be "Though" Thou is sort of an old form of you, like thou shalt not kill.

You had a lack of punctuation, which should be fixed. Here's an article I wrote that may help: Poetry & Punctuation

I have never known
this line doesn't really make sense to me.

Is the poem about being insane/ in an asylum? I think it's odd you should write this, since I don't think your insane or in an asylum, but what ever, your choice.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




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Don;t worry, i wrote this poem ages ago and no one seems to get what it's about. It's supposed to be about love and that it makes you insane as well as being a type of insanity in itself. Though i guess if i have to explain that, it's not a very good poem. Oh well.
Did anyone actually get that it was about that? orwas it a really obscure message?

I made a few of the changes that you guys suggested. I can't believe i missed that thou, i do actually know that that's wrong. It's just a little bit of text-talk slipping through and I'll watch out for it next time.
H. Edwards



hmmm. you know, the quote generator deserves some garlic bread
— SilverNight