Belda's dust

I'll try to review most of it, but I'll do the prologue first.

The beginning paragraph I like. It's got lots of good detail. I can get a nice image of this setting, and it doesn’t seemed forced.

“You’re late.”

Love this. It kind of startles you. It does a great job of grabbing any attention that might have been wandering.

She had an odd eeriness about her that frightened him and there were rumors about the forest and its inhabitants.

This seems awkward, doesn’t it? The last part seems like an after thought.
Maybe switch it to something along the lines of “She had an odd eeriness about her that made him wonder about rumors about the forest and its inhabitants.” Or something.

“Random delays,” he muttered finally, looking down at the pebbles.

Ha, I love this. Just seems like a great thing to say.

“Well, where is it?” Her voice was squeaky and dry, but probably the most disturbing thing about it was an odd eagerness that didn’t quite fit it.

Drop the "probably", it will sound better.

He slowly put his hand into his pocket and withdrew a small box

Hm, you could rephrase this as “He slowly withdrew a small box from his pocket”. The “put his hand into his pocket” seems a little awkward. But I love the word “withdrew”.

…rolling it around in her hands like a child with a new present.

Great description

“Oh that won’t help you,” she whispered smiling.

Add a comma between “whispered” and “smiling.” I love her dialogue though.

Overall, very good and interesting. I liked reading this. You've got some very nice dialogue!

Azzia reluctantly shut the yellowing with age book

“Yellowing with age” seems out of order. Try just “the aged book” or “She shut the yellowing pages of the aged book” you don’t even have to have yellowing and aged in the same sentence, because most people can draw one from the other.

Other than a few degrading glares and some up turned noses, her departure was pretty much undisturbed.

Oh, interesting. Makes me want to know who exactly she is that people would treat her that way.

various merchants selling rare goods, vendors selling stolen goods and shop owners chasing vendors away from the front of their stores.

This part made me laugh. I like the image of shop owners chasing people away. Nice.

...upper Palidon, where her mistress lived.

The “Upper” and “Middle” prefixes are a nice indicator of social statues, I like them. The term “mistress” is also interesting, and makes people wonder what Azzia’s job is.

Bang! Absent minded, she had walked straight into one of the vendors that littered the streets.

Sound effects are kind of dangerous, because if not used the right way they can make your story sound cartoony. I suggest italicizing the “Bang!” (Or getting rid of it). The jump from the “Bang” to “Absent minded…” seems odd. I’d add something like “Azzia fell back. Also, “Absent minded” seems oddly put. Try either “Absent mindedly…” or “Being absent minded…”

He didn’t respond until had she picked up his entire collection

However, there was something odd about him that she just couldn’t place.

“However” is usually used like “but” is used, when talking about an exception or something of the sort. You’ve already pointed out that there is something odd about him (his unusual height) so however doesn’t fit, unless you say “However, there was something else odd…”

"Will you buy anything?” he whispered, almost reluctantly.

Oh, interesting. Makes you wonder, why would a vendor be reluctant to sell his goods. Makes me think he’s going to sell something that will deliberately endanger her, although he doesn’t want to.

Everything about him was a strange red color and there was no defining lines to distinguish between one feature from the next; they just sort-of flowed into each other.

I think this would sound better, have more of an impact if you will, if you cut out the “and” and broke it into two sentences. But very good description

I’m really going to get it today she thought

Add a comma between her thought and the tag. “…today, she…”

the tabletop on the mountain

Great way to describe the location, however, try “…the tabletop of the mountain…”

He was changing again...at least I’ll be welcome at home.

Whoa, that’s unexpected. I love it, great description. However, double check your grammar.

“You can talk!” she exclaimed.

“What is it with you humans and stating the obvious,” the same cat muttered

this is a funny situation. However, the jump from Azzia’s comment to the cat seems odd. Maybe add a bit of description, like “The cat rolled it’s eyes” or something similar. And add a question mark after the cat’s comment.

“Not much really,” the cook responded, pouring some tea into the cup, “unless you want to sell the girl.” Lady Lera, looked down at the floor. So it finally come to that. After a while she muttered, “okay, the girl goes to the slave market tomorrow.”

Grammar!

“Not much really,” the cook responded, pouring some tea into the cup, “unless you want to sell the girl.”

New paragraph when new person is talking!

Lady Lera, looked down at the floor. So it finally come to that. After a while she muttered, “Okay, the girl goes to the slave market tomorrow.”

she began to prepare herself for, what she did not know yet, would be a very long day

This seems to be a bit of cut and paste sentence. Just saying “She began to prepare herself for the day” would work just as well.

Miss Brak

Titles are capitalized.

Miss Brek did not respond for a while and when she did, it was no more than a whisper, “you’ll find out soon enough,” she handed Azzia a orange and added, “here, eat this, you’ll need your strength.” Azzia was about to inquire further, when she silenced, by an annoyed sigh, and then beckoned along the still dark street.

Try a new paragraph. You should have a new paragraph whenever you change speakers. Also, the beginning of Miss Brek’s sentence should be capitalized.

It should be “An orange”, not “a orange”

she entertained herself by observing the damaged that had been left behind by the storm

who would every so often peer down at her from under his spectacles,

I’ve been here before

You forgot a period.

All carried a wipe

Don't you mean "whip"?

but it was too late

“Will you be paying for another night at this inn?”

There were huge gashes were the whip had sank into and then ripped out of her skin

She had fought of course, but had only received a harsher beating for it.

“Most can’t.” it said flatly, then added in a new curious tone

“You don’t look like Siamese cats!” she exclaimed.

This seems something that would be odd for her to “exclaim”, especially so long after the fact. Maybe just make her say it, observe it.

Pretty interesting so far, but make sure you double check your spelling and grammar before you post. There are some things that won't be picked up by spell checkers, because, while they're not the words you want, they're still words.

Other than that, pretty good.

Ah... Sorry for taking forever to get to this! I know I said I'd read it...

Anyway:

The Prologue

Small ripples slowly glided up and down the beach, giving out little splash like sounds as they hit the crevices between the pebbles that ran the full length of the beach.

I think "splash like" should be "splash-like". Also, you use "beach" twice in the same sentence... Which isn't really bad, it's just a little awkward.

The man looked up surprised and saw an old woman who was definitely not there before sitting on a huge bolder, quite close to the beginning of the forest.

This sentence doesn't seem quite right to me. I think part of the problem is the length, and also "who was" should be "had not". Like: The man looked up, surprised. An old woman, who had definitely not been there before, was sitting on a huge bolder quite close to the beginning of the forest.

She had an odd eeriness about her that frightened him and there were rumors about the forest and its inhabitants.

This seems like a vague way to establish the woman's creepiness. What made her eerie and frightening? Was there something strange about her face, or posture, or expression? Also, I think it might work better to say something along the lines of "the man recalled the strange rumors about the forest and its inhabitants". It brings us a little closer to his point of view, rather than just saying "there was so-and-so". If that makes any sense.

She snatched the box out of his hand instantaneously

I don't think you need "instantaneously" right there. "Snatched" is a word that already implies she did it quickly.

She smiled absent mindedly

Absentmindedly is one word.

Once he was secured in the boat

You said "boat" right before this too. I think it'd work to say "secured inside" instead.

Chapter 1

All her physical development had pretty much stopped

"Pretty much" is quite colloquial. I'd suggest leaving it out.

The central Palidon Library was probably the largest building in the entire city and could boast of having just about every book ever written.

I think "probably" and "just about" kinda detract from the qualities you want to express. Of course you want to be truthful and not exaggerate things needlessly, but I think words like that should he used sparingly.

While empty-minded, educationally-driven youths

Lol! *claps* I love it!

her departure was pretty much undisturbed

Again, I don't really like the "pretty much".

As usual, the street was packed with people; various merchants selling rare goods, vendors selling stolen goods and shop owners chasing vendors away from the front of their stores.

Nice description!

He could sense his skin slowly sliding along to it new positions Two months earlier

A missing period in there, I think?

threatening to break at any minute

You used this phrase in the prologue too. Unless you're implying it's at the same time, it might be a good idea to come up with a different way of saying it.

“What is it with you humans and stating the obvious,” the same cat muttered sarcastically

This is great; I'd just recommend taking out "sarcastically". The sarcasm is screamingly obvious.

“Cook, I need some sort of money to came in,”

Come, I think.

After a while she muttered, “okay, the girl goes to the slave market tomorrow."

Hmm, I think it would be more powerful if the words she said aren't preceded by "after a while she muttered".

And that's as far as I got.

So overall, I do like this and look forward to reading more!

The prologue was intriguing, though perhaps a little predictable (a dark night, mysterious forest, etc). I actually liked the story better once the first chapter started. Azzia seems to be an interesting character. Both her personality, and her... lack of height.
Good luck!