Affection

Affection
by Meshalidar

Against the sun’s will,
I see you there,
every day,
glimpsing your shadowed form,
as you look toward dusk,
to the lake that sparkles against the twilight,
your eyes distinguish a lovely azure in the water,
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

Along the secluded coast of that lake,
you walk without slippers,
leaving distinct,
manifest trails,
where grass once grew,
by the mirroring body,
that reflects the godly heavens,
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

Alone in the waters,
swathed in a clinging gown,
your white figure stirs,
as you wade,
cleanse in your mirth,
and trek beneath the surface,
where you forget yourself,
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

So I view,
close by,
always so hesitant,
but right there for you,
your guardian,
my angel.

This seemed a lot like a story...perhaps it could have gone in the narrative section?

So I view,
close by,
always so hesitant,
but right there for you,
your guardian,
my angel.

The rest of the poem was really good--but the title was kind of wimpy...

I enjoyed this a lot! Very nice indeed. The imagery was mind-blowing and your way with words is amazing. The repetition of the last lines of the first three stanzas was very effective. Great work, keep it up.

I really liked it. Although AFFECTION seemed like a strong title like Chevy said. Something simple and sweet. Maybe Angel (too simple too cliche...) Well I don't know. I really liked it though, I don't have a guardian angel.

It left.

This was good, I enjoyed reading it's style and progressive narrative. Job well done.

Against the sun’s will,
I see you there,
every day,
glimpsing (at) your shadowed form,
as you look toward dusk,
to the lake that sparkles against the twilight,
your eyes distinguish a lovely azure {in the water},
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

Along the secluded coast of that lake,
you walk without slippers,
leaving distinct,
manifest trails,
where grass once grew,
by the mirroring body,
that reflects the godly heavens,
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

Alone in the waters,
swathed in a clinging gown,
your white figure stirs,
as you wade,
cleans(ing){e} in your mirth,
(as you) {and} trek beneath the surface,
where you forget yourself,
but I watch from afar,
too uncertain to approach.

So I view,
close by,
always so hesitant,
but right there for you,
your guardian,
my angel.

Aww. I love your use of repetition. Whatever is in the {} is what, in my opinion, you should get rid of. What is in the () is what you should add. I love this poem - lusting from afar... watching... but "uncertain to approach." LOVE IT! Great writer, you are.